And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. (2 Timothy 2:24)
You all know that much of my reality revolved around six boys, primarily though my 2 year old twins. I have been noticing a disturbing trend within myself lately though. A little resentment. I find myself complaining that I can eat, sleep think or breathe withough them needing me to help them in one way or another.
The days of hopping down to the lake in town to watch the boys go fishing with their daddy stopped the minute the twins were born. We can no longer make that last minute decision to go to Costco after church or to the mall or even to get pictures done of the older boys. The process of taking 6 children instead of 4 is nearly insurmountable when the youngest of these children is a set of twins.
I found that when children came one by one, it was no biggie, they eat well, play fairly independently and we all adjust to one more member of our home. But when they came as a pair a zillion new challenges suddenly awaited us. Something that I never anticipated, and obviously something I never got used to.
Now, having said all of that I have two things to share …. first, these realities were not apparent until they were about 15 months and second, they are the cutest things you will ever lay eyes on (usually)! There, that’s my disclaimer. Now on with the reality …
As I realized that I was beginning to harbor some resentment toward my little cherubs, I started wondering what I should do. Once again, even though the solution is oh-so-obvious, I find myself struggling with the answer and try to fix it myself. I’m sure you all know that this is not going to work, so why don’t I realize first thing that if I don’t give this to the Lord, I will get nowhere???
So, I am currently in a desperate state of prayer. I have a lot on my plate, I can’t afford NOT to give this heart condition to the Lord. Calling on Him to help me and to bring peace and joy into my heart again especially with my littlest ones. They are not to blame for … well … anything, so I need to grow up and deal with it 
Have you found yourself in a position where you resented your life, family, job, responsibilities? It is such a trap isn’t it? If you haven’t already, take it to God in prayer and ask Him to help your heart soften and be filled with His love and joy again.
If this post blessed, encouraged or inspired you, please feel free to "Stumble It" or submit it to kirtsy - Thank you!I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. (Ezekiel 36:26-27)
July 14th, 2008 at 7:13 am
I can totally relate!
July 14th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Inspirational girl… (((hugs))) hang in there
July 14th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Absolutely! I get resentful when I think of Moms with easy-going, compliant, good-sleeping kiddos even though I adore my very…uh…lively and energetic ones! LOL! And I get really cranky when I feel like they’re judging me. I’d have a cleaner house and a better social life too if I could get a good night’s sleep once in a while!
So, I’m working on this (praying about it) but it’s HUGE for me. And I definitely can imagine how stressful it would be to chase twin toddlers! I definitely don’t blame you for having a hard time keeping perspective! Oh, I had to laugh about the 15 months thing. Gracie is 17 months now and I’ve often thought that if I had 2 of her, I just wouldn’t make it! I love your reality checks btw!
July 14th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Though all 6 of mine are singles. I have 3 boys followed by the 3 girls. I can relate somewhat! At his moment I am trying to keep from going ballistic!!!!! Breathe, breathe, breathe!!! And it is only 2:37 PM!!!
July 14th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Well, I am wondering how on earth I’m ever going to get out and about again!!!
July 14th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
I’ve been there, Shera. Your post is so heartfelt and your perspective is great. There is nothing better than praying about it. That will help! It always does.
Take care!
July 15th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Hi Shera,
My two youngest are boy/girl twins so I can so relate to your post above. My husband and I used to enjoy spur of the moment trips and outings with our oldest, however, once the twinnies came along……everything changed lol. Things do get easier as they get older (atleast until they become teenagers…mine aren\’t that old) so hang in there and make sure you take time for yourself.
Best Wishes!
July 16th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Yes I like the other ladies here can relate. I only have 2 kids, but also work full time ( as a teacher) and there are days I resent working. But I am always reminded in the middle of my resentment that God has me in this job for a reason and season of life. I try to keep the big picture in mind. It’s tough sometimes though!
Great verse BTW!
July 16th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Bless you Shera…praying over here just like you claimed it! Standing with you…since I can’t be there to lend a hand…I lend you two..praying. My cousin had twins, but they were first…it makes a difference!
My resentment>>>hhmmm? I love them deeply and care for them daily but my five dogs! Though not kids, there are days I wish they were gone!
But I know I’d miss them…that’s what I get for having a heart to rescue…but I already told God …no more…I learned my lesson! Then I see a straggling stray and wish I could do something! They do hold you down from just doing stuff that doesn’t allow “D-O-G-S”. I tried giving away…had a litter of 6, but the 3 I gave…2 died…1 came back…couldn’t part. Destiny..a rooftop…or worse. Yes, I know I should have been responsible but 3 are fixed…just 2 youngest not yet…cuz they’re female…God help me!
July 16th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Shera, I needed this sooooooooo bad! I don’t have twins but, I’m 37 with a 13, 10, 3, and 21 month old. I am exhausted and I can’t even find myself anymore. I am in such a slump right now. You, know, feeling like a mess and don’t know how to get out of the funk? The scripture you provided was so encouraging because, quite frankly, I haven’t had the energy or desire to take my burdens to the Lord like I KNOW I should!
July 24th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Hi Shera, I haven’t been by here in a while. And I really enjoyed this post. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with the same thing - a resentment of the kids! I know it sounds horrible, but like you, it is just reality. I have 3, and I was overwhelmed from day 1 of the baby. For me, 3 is too many. Yet what can I do? And really, it sure isn’t their fault! Gosh, sometimes Mommyness is just hard! Glad that you posted about this. It helps somewhat to know that I’m not alone in this!