A few days ago I asked all of you to share with us a piece of advice (good or bad) that you had been given prior to becoming a parent. As I wrote that, I began to think back to the many people I have encountered among my 5 pregnancies and I also asked Tessa (my sis and this event’s resident preggy mom) if she had anything to share . The amazing thing is that the message that both of us separately felt on our hearts to share is basically the same!
I had intended to share it all with you in one post, but I just couldn’t make it fit, so two posts it is! Today I’m going to paste in what Tessa had to share and knowing her story, I have to admit that it brought tears to my eyes.
The best thing about being in my fourth pregnancy is the confidence I already have in knowing who I am as a mom. This is so different than my experience with my first pregnancy!
I was given a lot of advice and books from a group of very well meaning friends about the “right way” to parent babies. It had worked for them very successfully and after hearing their stories, reading and asking questions I was sold. I believed that what the book said was true, this was the one way, the right way.
Then my daughter was born and I began to see very clearly that she had never read the book! Don’t get me wrong, I tried my best to follow my plan. For weeks we struggled to obey the rules, but she never responded the way the babies in the books did.
My beautiful, healthy daughter had colic and cried all the time. At the advice of my pediatrician we threw the book away and began again.
Looking back at this very difficult time, I now believe it was one of the biggest blessings of my life. God used my wonderful, inconsolable baby to humble and teach me every day for three long months. I learned how to listen to her cries and meet her needs.
I began to realize that God created each one of us as unique individuals with different needs, challenges and sensitivities. I started asking for God’s wisdom and have never stopped because I understand that I don’t have the answers.
Imagine how narrow minded and proud I might be today, if my daughter had been an easy baby who fit perfectly into my program and theories. Maybe, just maybe, all those people who believe they know the one “right way” just haven’t had a baby different enough to change their minds.
I am so thankful that every child is a unique blessing that sends us humbly to Jesus’ feet, for he alone knows what is the right way for our little ones.
James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
Tessa will be back on Saturday with some thoughts about and experiences with colicky babies, so be sure to check back on that. In a day or two I’ll post about my thoughts about becoming a mom and a couple basic pieces of advice as well!!! Until then … be blessed!
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January 23rd, 2009 at 9:49 am 1
That is beautiful! I went through the same exact thing that your sister is. My first born had colic too and we tried everything that the books said. But not everything you read in the parenting books work. I’ve learned that you need to customize your parenting for each individual child. They are all unique and special and react differently to how you parent. Like Tessa, I am too pregnant with my fourth. Now I know what to expect and I also know that no matter what challenges I will face with this new baby God will not give me more than I can handle. Beautiful post, Shera. Thank you for sharing!
January 23rd, 2009 at 5:10 pm 2
So well said! Thank you so much!
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