Life isn’t perfect. We live in an imperfect world filled with imperfect people and things. That is just the way it is. We all have to come to terms with that sooner or later in order to move on and enjoy life despite it’s imperfections.
As a mom, one of the most difficult parts of life is the fact that we cannot always protect our children from illness, injury and emotional hurt. I’ve talked about this difficulty before, primarily in reference to the emotional horror of my oldest son’s schooling. But lately it has been injury and illness that have me completely baffled.
We now have a new record for most stitches (for a child) in our home. Little Monkey recently injured the bottom of his big toe at his grammy’s house and ended up with 8 stitches. He still walks with his foot a little sideways to keep pressure off it and the skin around the injury is peeling like crazy, but it is healing and his stitches are out.
That was the conclusive event for a string that has been going on for a few months illness then injury, illness then injury… repeat. We all know that when illness starts around here we have no idea how long it will take us to get it out of the house.
I found myself falling deeper and deeper into depression in the middle of all of this. Something that I have only experienced temporarily in the past became a part of daily living for months on end. Even though I knew I was falling into an abyss, I let it go… I am the mom after all and I must care for everyone around me first… right?
There has to be balance, we cannot be moms who only take care of others and we cannot be moms that only think of ourselves first. We must ensure that we are healthy (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually) in order to properly care for our family and we need to do that in a balanced way.
It’s a tricky requirement that many of us at one point or another fail miserably at. I did, and I’m still trying to come out of the fog. I’m very fortunate to have family around me that noticed what was going on and went out of their way to make sure that the problem was addressed and a resolution found.
I don’t like posting about things like this. I like for you all to know that I am an imperfect human, just the same as the next guy over but I also like to leave all of you with hope and encouragement. Today though I find myself with only one question to ask…
Do you ever feel like a failure… as a mom, in your home?
I think in everything that I’ve been working through lately that’s the one thing that has been the most difficult for me to face. I’m reminding myself (please take this encouragement for yourself if you answered yes to that question) that I too am an imperfect woman living in an imperfect world with a family filled with other imperfect people. But because of the grace and mercy of God, I have a ‘hope and a future’.
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January 4th, 2010 at 7:42 am 1
well, I’m sure you KNOW I feel like I fail… regularly actually. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this. It truly sucks. Sometimes it all just feels like TOO MUCH and it can get even the most stable of us down. Hugs to you dear Shera.
Tarasview´s last blog ..Weekly Winners- attempting to get a shot of the kids
January 4th, 2010 at 8:27 pm 2
Shera,
I think you put it so well–that you’re trying to come out of a fog.
Don’t we all sometimes feel that way? The truth is that life is often really slogging. It isn’t easy. And it can quickly become overwhelming if we don’t stop and take care of ourselves, too.
But that’s hard to do. And the worst thing you can do is to beat yourself up over it! Remember, each day is a new day. And tomorrow you can start all over again, with no stitches!
I know when I get deepest into the fog, what I have to do is take the long term view. Yes, this month has been horrid. Yes, I haven’t had enough sleep. But the last year has been pretty good! And we’ve had a lot of successes. Keep talking those up, keep praying, and somehow the day to day dreariness goes away.
And if all else fails, eat chocolate.
Visit To Love, Honor and Vacuum today!
January 7th, 2010 at 3:19 pm 3
Yes, this feeling comes and goes with all dedicated and hard working moms.
When my ten year old Zachy was sick all the time(it seemed like two years worth, on and off) I kept a spreadsheet so that I knew I wasn’t going out of my mind. Too many kids to keep track of.
Just one comment – I try to focus on the positive and the things that I can change and have influence over. Hang in there!
January 7th, 2010 at 6:28 pm 4
Don’t kid yourself — we all feel like mom failures at one time or another!
Actually, that’s why I started my blog. To inspire and encourage moms.
The silver lining? Our shortcomings force us to reach up for real help. If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need that babe in the manger.
Love your blog — you have two more sons than I do!
Laura´s last blog ..Welcome to Outnumbered Moms Everywhere
January 12th, 2010 at 12:44 pm 5
There is a positive to this, it’s okay to imperfect. Its okay to let our kids know we are.
Its even comforting because than they can look at their own perfections and be able to accept them, and go on and realize that everyone has them. And that they are okay to have.
Its a good lesson.
Tracy
The crazy suburban mom´s last blog ..Getting some tongue on Retro Tuesday
January 12th, 2010 at 8:34 pm 6
Shera,
Take some time for yourself and get to feeling better soon. Hope you are having a good week so far. That’s all we can do right? Seize the moment, hour, day, week… right in front of us & do the best we can with what we’ve got.
January 13th, 2010 at 7:03 am 7
T answer your question…yes, I do. I think as moms we often struggle with feeling like a failure. It’s good to know that God is there to pick me back up when I need Him.
Heather @ CSAHM´s last blog ..Are You Qualified to Homeschool Your Child?
January 13th, 2010 at 12:42 pm 8
As a mom of 5 kids all born in six years, I know what your life must be like-with little time for you. I feel like a failure every day-whenever I yell, nag, disappoint etc.
I tell myself that I am only human and that I am doing the best I can and I will try to do better, but if I dont, then they will have to take what they get!!! Take good care, Kelly
Kelly Smith´s last blog ..Book review and giveaway
January 16th, 2010 at 3:03 pm 9
Definitely! Sometimes I feel like I failed the day… sometimes it’s more like a whole season. Sickness is the worst. It absolutely panics me. When the family gets sick I just want to run away screaming!
Hugs!