As many of you know, we have had our fair share of sleep problems with the twins. They still end up in bed with us at some point in the night more often than not. I cringe to admit that because I honestly never thought that would be the case for me since my older children slept through the night so well.

The last few nights however, they have stayed in their bed through the night. But we are finding them to be particularly quirky. They don’t lay one way, they like to sprawl out all over the place. They share a full size bed which is plenty big for the two of them, but they do not want to go to sleep in it without a brother with them. Tater gets the privilege of joining them to sleep each night, but he does so happily and it works out for all concerned.

All of our children are very different of course, but several of them will have this or that similarity. Three of our children are particularly imaginative and have very interesting dreams. They are the most likely children to have nightmares as well, so much of the twins’ sleeping problems could likely be linked to if they are going through a fearful stage that’s being reflected in their dreams. Either way though, every morning the twins get up early and the first thing they want to do is tell us all about the dream they had the night before.

Sometimes these dreams are absolute doozies, sometimes they are fairly simple. But you can always expect a simple run down of a dream from Bug and a long drawn out step by step story from Monkey.

I love watching my kids sleep. They may drive me crazy sometimes, but watching them sleep is peaceful and quieting. Sometimes Monkey will cry a bit in his sleep before I go to bed and I’ll go in and stand near him to calm him. Then I’ll just watch a while.

So today it’s about finding the quiet peaceful sleepy moments that amaze me about my kids. And even though they cry in the night sometimes, or go wild during the day, each one is so uniquely amazing and wonderful.

Life is such an interesting complex mix of events isn’t it? We’re still dealing with far too many illnesses and injuries to count, but i’m trying to also find the fun little things mixed in. This has been a huge challenge for me as the natural course of things when you are in the midst of depression is to see the negative and feel overwhelmed.

That said though, I am definitely trying to make a purposeful attempt at finding at least one good or funny thing each day. To move out of a state of negativity for even a little while and remember all of the blessings and happiness we can have in life if we only put our minds to it. Attempting to get myself into a holding pattern of sorts that includes positivity each day.

Seeing these things in the past hasn’t usually been much of an effort, just a natural course of each day in life, but that was before depression overcame me. I still don’t love sharing about it much but it’s a huge part of what i’m dealing with in life right now so although I won’t focus on it, I’m also not going to pretend it doesn’t exist.

I would love to move past this, to suddenly feel normal again and go on with life like depression never entered the picture. But I’m still on this road of overcoming and it’s a process I cannot avoid or dismiss. Finding the little things in each day is a small step for me to see the brightness and beauty of life again.

Again, although that’s something that was everyday 6 months ago, it’s an effort now. Finding humor in the crazy things the kids do and say… yeah, trying to get that back too. If you are dealing with any form of depression or feeling overwhelmed, I’d like to encourage you to consider taking this approach as well.

Throughout the day remind yourself to look around and find something good, allow yourself to be amused by something that happens or spend a moment doing something fun to make a good thing happen in each day.

I hope and pray for continued blessings for all of my readers and would like to thank all of you who have offered me such wonderful support and encouragement as I move forward and leave depression behind.

Yep, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve shared a song that is speaking to me, here’s this weeks though. Safe by Phil Wickham from his album Heaven & Earth.  I hope it blesses you today.

Life isn’t perfect. We live in an imperfect world filled with imperfect people and things. That is just the way it is. We all have to come to terms with that sooner or later in order to move on and enjoy life despite it’s imperfections.

As a mom, one of the most difficult parts of life is the fact that we cannot always protect our children from illness, injury and emotional hurt.  I’ve talked about this difficulty before, primarily in reference to the emotional horror of my oldest son’s schooling. But lately it has been injury and illness that have me completely baffled.

We now have a new record for most stitches (for a child) in our home. Little Monkey recently injured the bottom of his big toe at his grammy’s house and ended up with 8 stitches.  He still walks with his foot a little sideways to keep pressure off it and the skin around the injury is peeling like crazy, but it is healing and his stitches are out.

That was the conclusive event for a string that has been going on for a few months illness then injury, illness then injury… repeat.  We all know that when illness starts around here we have no idea how long it will take us to get it out of the house.

I found myself falling deeper and deeper into depression in the middle of all of this. Something that I have only experienced temporarily in the past became a part of daily living for months on end.  Even though I knew I was falling into an abyss, I let it go… I am the mom after all and I must care for everyone around me first… right?

There has to be balance, we cannot be moms who only take care of others and we cannot be moms that only think of ourselves first. We must ensure that we are healthy (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually) in order to properly care for our family and we need to do that in a balanced way.

It’s a tricky requirement that many of us at one point or another fail miserably at.  I did, and I’m still trying to come out of the fog. I’m very fortunate to have family around me that noticed what was going on and went out of their way to make sure that the problem was addressed and a resolution found.

I don’t like posting about things like this. I like for you all to know that I am an imperfect human, just the same as the next guy over but I also like to leave all of you with hope and encouragement. Today though I find myself with only one question to ask…

Do you ever feel like a failure… as a mom, in your home?

I think in everything that I’ve been working through lately that’s the one thing that has been the most difficult for me to face.  I’m reminding myself (please take this encouragement for yourself if you answered yes to that question) that I too am an imperfect woman living in an imperfect world with a family filled with other imperfect people.  But because of the grace and mercy of God, I have a ‘hope and a future’.

My new favorite Christmas song!!! Sung by Audrey Assad on Chris Tomlin’s new Christmas album, Glory in the Highest.

This is another song that I’ve been listening to a lot lately. In the middle of a crisis I hope and pray that I will sing this song!

Because this song speaks to me on such a personal level, I really just wanted to share it with all of you today.  There’s nothing grand about the video part, but listen closely to the words and please be blessed today.

It’s definitely getting colder around here.  As fall begins to make way for Winter and the holidays are quickly approaching, this is when a lot of moms start feeling the crunch.

I hope you’ve had time to take a little break this week to just try to re-energize.  It can be something simple like a nice cup of tea and a good book, or hot chocolate and a chick flick.  Don’t underestimate the power of a simple, quiet few moments of time.

How often I forget to be thankful in everyday life.  That’s probably one of the reasons that I appreciate Thanksgiving as a holiday the most.

We all need that continual reminder that we need to be thankful.  The funny thing is that the times we need to be the most thankful are the times we are most likely to forget.  Well, at least that’s how it is for me.

What do we need to do to continually remember to be thankful.  That will be different for each of us of course, so we’ll need to find that out but one of the best ways I have found is to post reminders in areas I will see them regularly.

This could be a desk, bathroom mirror, kitchen window, washing machine, computer, etc.  I think you get the idea.  Simple reminders, prayers, scriptures, quotes…whatever it takes to put you in an attitude of thankfulness randomly through your day.

A simple concept that could change your day, your week or maybe even your life.

As a mom I’m busy. Running errands, caring for the house, children, husband; you name it I seem to be in charge of making it happen.

Not only is this a challenging and sometimes overwhelming task, it can also often crowd out many other things in life that keep a mom sane.

If you feel like God is far away, I can guarantee you it isn’t because He wants to be. Let me tell you though, I feel this way often and cry out wondering where He has gone.

Then I realize that all the while it was me that walked away.

If you feel alone right now I encourage you to take extra time and just wait and listen. You’ll feel refreshed, at peace and no longer be alone.