I’m pretty sure there comes a time in every blogger’s life where they aren’t entirely sure what they will share or even if they should. Although my blog started so small, I know that now there are many that actually read it and I want to make sure that the things I share are an encouragement not a downer.

That said, life happens. I have found it necessary occasionally to put down the blog and pick up my kids. That would explain my absence last week. They needed me…and…well…you didn’t so much.

I am so close to feeling normal again, it has been very nice. We still live in our cramped little house as a family of 8 and that still makes me a little crazy from time to time but the laughter has come back and that’s what I love.

Depression is an ugly word and can do very ugly things to a person’s life. I won’t (and don’t) talk about it often here because it is so heavy and in many ways just too personal and even difficult to explain. I will say this though, as a mom of so many my biggest frustration was wanting things to be back to “normal” for my kids!

But I digress….I really just wanted to say thank you to all of you for hanging in there as things have been fairly inconsistent. This week there should be yet another great giveaway for all of you to participate in so I will talk to you all again soon.

Until then, be blessed and hug your family!

Moving into a difficult season in life isn’t something that anyone ever hopes for or dreams of…but most of us understand that it is likely to happen at some point (or several points) in our life.  There are many things for me to be thankful for, though I tend to forget them in the middle of the daily grind.

Sometimes, as with me, the situation arises unexpectedly and unavoidably. No, there was no one thing that happened, but there are many many things that basically overwhelmed me but were/are completely out of my control.

Moving into self-preservation mode is probably a normal reaction, this is the point where having a little conversation with myself was completely necessary. Remembering that I need to find balance…the balance that works toward getting me healthy but also remembers to keep an even keel in the home for the family.

Not an impossible mission, but I found it to be a very difficult one.  I struggle with our culture’s need to focus solely on self and do whatever necessary to make self happy. So possibly in rebellion to that attitude I (and many other moms I know) buried myself in my family.  No I don’t feel that I lost my identity…it was altered yes, but lost…no.

Once again, I am reminded that as with everything in life, finding balance is the key.  Finding a way to take care of what I need to be healthy right now, as well as the emotional, physical and spiritual needs of my family. It’s the basics, easier said than done but how often do we make a mountain out of a molehill.

So in the process of balancing I’m also remembering to simplify. Again, much easier said than done but I’m tired of making life too complicated and difficult. There’s enough of that out of my control so why add that in where I do have a little say?

As I enter what I hope will be a new season of refreshing, balance and simplicity I hope that you can also find joy and fulfillment in the simple things in life.

Yes, after a few months of being quiet I suddenly feel like the fog is lifting and I want to talk again.  So if you’ve noticed that I’m suddenly blogging again…you aren’t mistaken.  I’m just doing it a bit differently and still kind of ‘going with the flow’ of whatever is on my mind, or when I have time. In other words I’m back but things might still look a little different.

I can’t say that the process of what I’ve been dealing with lately hasn’t been without side effects. My normally happy and optimistic nature has been…well…not so happy or optimistic much of the time.  The idea of sharing what I was going through was very difficult for me.

Honestly not because of pride, but because it felt wrong somehow that my normally encouraging and uplifting blog would be tarnished by difficulties beyond my ability to completely explain or handle in every day life.  To be in a place in my life where I didn’t feel like I had anything encouraging to offer was foreign and frustrating for me.

I’m not going to tell you that I’m back to “normal”, in a way I’m not sure if I ever will be. I don’t mean that in a negative way, but everything we go through in life will shape us and transform us just a little (or a lot). But the constant haze I was in seems to have faded a bit, the light at the end of the tunnel is finally visible and while I still have bad days, there are good ones now too.

Thank you all so much for standing by me through this…I have great friends, many of which simply email me when they read posts here and I appreciate you all.  I wish you all great blessings today!!!

Hugs…

There comes a point in every child’s littlehood that they decide they shouldn’t take naps.   If I were content to leave it alone, none of my children would have continued to nap during the day into their third year.

The thing is, I’m not content to leave it alone.  That is the only time of the day where I get a few short minutes of quiet, rest and solid work time.  Even more though, I found right off the bat with boy number 1 is that although they may hit this “no nap” sometime when they are three, most of them weren’t truly ready to give it up permanently, it was merely a temporary thing.

Through all 6 of my boys they have been very varied in their napping.  Some of them nap until Kindergarten (and even then aren’t truly ready to give it up), others are definitely ready to move on to “rest time” at the age of 4.  None of them gave it up completely before that, though they may have tried.

The twins are now 3 1/2 and sometimes struggle with the nap thing…though sleeping has never been something they excel at (LOL).  My 6 year old (Sir Lion) on the other hand, who is in half day Kindergarten this year, still shows signs of definitely needing a nap a couple times per week.

Even if it seems like the end of napping is at hand, I really like everyone to have quiet time each day…even the bigger ones during summer break.  They don’t have to lay down of course, but I do ask that they keep their voices down, there will be absolutely no rough housing, and I encourage anything quiet: reading, games, playing quietly, etc.  They occasionally slip and get noisy, but for the most part, they reap the benefits of this arrangement too.  I really do believe that it is healthy for everyone to have some quiet in their day.

So the dilemma?  Like I mentioned the twins are terrible sleepers (Ok, so I put it nicely before, but let’s not be in denial here) and at 3 1/2 they are terribly difficult to get to nap.  Do they still need a nap?  Yes, all signs point to the fact that they are definitely not doing well without a nap.  So, as unruly as they are, I am trying now to teach them about “quiet time”.  You may play quietly or read quietly on your nap bed (they do NOT do well if they are in the same room at naptime), but you may not get up.

So, in the midst of my current dilemma which may or may not mean that my last children are done being nappers (sigh), here’s a little info I thought I’d share on the subject that I’ve learned over the years.

• Some children will go through stages of napping.  Just because they are having a difficult time napping right now, may not mean that they are done napping altogether, they may be ready again next week so keep up the routine.
• If your child is young and you don’t want them to give up napping completely, go into it like it’s a temporary thing, and continue with their routine.  They may simply lay in their crib hugging their cozy for the hour and a half they would normally nap, that’s fine.  This gives both you and the little one time to recouperate from the morning by having a little down time.  Some don’t go for this easily, and many a parent has given up after a few days thinking that there’s no hope.
• If you don’t want to continue trying to get your child to nap after a few days, that is entirely up to you.  But if you really do want to give it a fair shot, keep going every day and if nothing else, you will at least establish a routine.
• When do you know that your child needs to cut out or down on naptime?  If your child cannot get to sleep at night, they are restless when they do sleep or they wake up in the night unable to go back to sleep.
• When do you know that naptime is simply a challenge, but that your child still needs a nap?  For my children, it depended on the child.  But, by around 5 or 6pm (way too early), they would exhibit one or more of the following:  overly emotional (crying for no reason), mad at the world (crabby and angry at everyone about everything), rollercoaster emotions (laughing one minute, bawling the next – way more than usual even for the personality that does that), falling asleep in the car (especially if you go somewhere around dinnertime), bouncing off the walls (a couple of my kids get ultra hyper when they are tired – total oxymoron, I know, but they did).

I’m sure there are plenty of things I’m forgetting about, but that’s quite a bit for now.  Feel free to leave a comment with your naptime dilemmas, solutions or questions.  If you have a question, be sure to come back and check comments in a few days for an answer.

As I anticipated the start of summer break, I counted down the weeks and days.  I was excited about all the fun things I would plan and adventures we would take.  My sister and I had planned a fun end of the school year celebration for the boys and lots of great activities were planned, but when that day finally arrived, things did NOT go according to plan!

I had been struggling with some pain in my lower back for almost a week.  It was highly uncomfortable, and for the last few days had been getting a little worse, so I’d been taking it easy.  But on that last day of school, I was in excruciating and debilitating pain.

I had done everything in my power to avoid it getting to this point.  I have never had problems with my back in my life…and once this is resolved, I pray I never do again.  The night before I had made a trip in to the walk-in clinic to make sure that everything was under control for the last day of school.

Yeah, it didn’t really work out that way.  I’d been struggling more than ever that morning and as I changed one of the little ones, the pain got so intense I absolutely couldn’t believe it.  So, as my children were arriving home from school that day, they only had their oldest brother to welcome them since I was at the doctors office again.  Oh yes, the guilt will follow me…cuz I’m that mom!

Well, here we are a week later, and I have still not been able to start our summer.  I’m not the kind of mom that likes to have to stop everything to take care of herself…I see an awful lot of you nodding your head out there!

One thing that I have had to challenge myself with in all of this is to get back in focus.  It’s easy to get overwhelmed by this looming issue in front of me, and I have to admit, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do to compensate for what I’m going through.  But while I get answers to the bigger logistical questions on my mind right now, I have to get my heart and attitude back in the right place!

Sure, this is not “life according to plan”…well MY plan that is.  So getting the right perspective is everything in a situation like this.  Hardships come to all of us, compared to many my hardships are nothing and I need to just roll with it and “get a grip”!

So many things in life can throw us off course if we aren’t careful.  The very thing I had been anticipating with so much care and joy became the opposite in one fell swoop.  Sometimes it doesn’t take much, but in that moment, if we remember to focus on the bigger picture and ask God for direction to get us through so that we can move beyond it…only then can we really go anywhere.

Today, I’m focused…I’ll continue to work toward healing my body so that I’m physically able to take on the rest of summer, but in the mean time, I’ll also be looking for creative things to do with all the kiddos.  It will look a little different than my original plan for sure, but I think in the end it will be rewarding.

There are many times throughout parenting when we hurt for our children.  It definitely isn’t the fun part of parenting, it’s the reality and the nitty gritty part.

Some of the heart breaks will be from your children’s actions toward you.  Sorry, I know it isn’t a great thought, but how many of us have been stunned and even brought to tears by an unthoughtful word or gesture from our children.  Often though, especially as they are younger, they didn’t even realize what they said would hurt us and they feel bad.

Then there are the times that your heart breaks simply by association.  Because your child is hurting, you are hurting.  This is the type of hurt we’ve been experiencing….ever since CJ was in 3rd grade.  Yes, that IS a long time!

The crazy thing for us is that even though hubby and I have experienced a great deal of stress over CJ and his education, and I have spent time in my knees in tears…CJ doesn’t look at it the same way we do.  This is simply how it is for him.  He doesn’t know different.  He’s been told he’s smart, but nothing proves that, so he’s fallen into a “this is just how it’s going to be” reality where he just goes through the motions, but knows he can’t learn.

Of course CJ’s view of it is entirely wrong, in fact he is quite intelligent and we have the tests to prove it.  Yup, remember those tests…we did it in January.  We took him to an outside evaluator who spent half a day evaluating our son and found that CJ has working memory and processing issues.

I’m not going to bore you with the details of how we got here, it’s been an EXTREMELY long and trying road, but suffice it to say we are here and have the information in hand.  So now what?

We asked that too.  At the beginning of the year we were told that he didn’t qualify to be tested for an IEP simply because of the way he was “exited” from it last year.  So even though we knew he was struggling (and that it wasn’t going to change) they weren’t going to take action…until I handed them the report from the evaluator.

Suddenly the process began … again.  Problem is, we’re done!  They’ve had since 3rd grade to figure out the exact same diagnosis as the evaluator we paid.  They have the same resources the evaluator has, but they did nothing.  Once they did decide to test him, lo and behold, guess what they found?  Yup, he has working memory and processing issues.  [do you sense the sarcasm? sorry]

Oh, but it gets even better…the one difference with the school district is that since that same 3rd grade year, they have been trying to have us test him for attention problems (ha).  We consistently get “He’s such a nice kid”, “never a behavior or attitude problem”, “works wonderfully with me during testing”.

So why do they keep focusing on attention?  A couple of his teachers through the years have said that he doesn’t pay attention to them for any length of time, will get distracted, etc.  Our problem with this all along is that NO child will just sit there and pay attention to something they don’t understand, or they will only do it for so long.  Our son is no exception.

What exactly do they expect us to do with that information?  What are we testing him for?  We’ve discussed this with his pediatrician for years and she thinks it’s insane!  Bottom line…would we medicate him either way just to make him “fit” into their box when he is a delightful and normal kid ALL the time?  Duh, NO!

I know this post is getting very long, and for those of you who have stuck with me, thank you!  It took saying all that to explain that this year has been especially heartbreaking for me as I watch him struggle through, enduring the frustration of teachers who can not or will not understand what he’s dealing with inside.

We have also decided that it would be best if he is homeschooled next year.  One of two reasons we said we’d pull our children out of public school is is they are no longer being educated.  I think we can all agree that he falls into that criteria!  Plus having several people tell us he learns perfectly one on one (including the school psychologist), just confirms the wisdom in that.

So my bloggy friends, I would great appreciate any and all prayer!  At this moment, we feel a little lost and have a lot of questions, so we’re definitely praying for answers.

You may have a heartbreaking reality right now with one of your children too…if so, I pray that you will take it to God and pray for direction as well!  Wishing you many blessings!!!

Mommy Realities … they’re all about what we can learn from the things we experience daily with our children. Some of these realities are minor (we always hope that there are many more of these), some of them are a little more major (these aren’t too bad I suppose) and putting us into the AAAAAAAH department (we do NOT want many of these).

I’ve been having an AAAAAAH week with my oldest!  He’s struggling in school … actually not a big surprise, but he’s suffering because of his own negligence.  AAAAAAAAH!  The struggle I see going in within him is actually breaking my heart!

I know he’s not the most organized kid in the world (I don’t know that he knows the meaning of the word).  Over the years we have tried to structure things around him to encourage organizational discipline … to no avail.  He will not be structured.

The boy will be 13 in a couple weeks!  AAAAAAAAH!  As if that’s not emotional enough!  Nope, he’s got to throw in major struggles to boot.  It’s not that he’s not being given instruction, it’s not that he’s not being given the assignments in enough time … he’s simply not doing them.  Not doing them AND not telling us they exist.  Thankfully I finally figured out how to access his information online, but half of that doesn’t appear until after the assignment was due … making it too late to be proactive.

So ……. WHY in the WORLD am I sharing all of this with YOU?????  Why wouldn’t I wait until I’m PAST this and use it as a mommy reality moment from the perspective of a mom who’s “been there, done that” and can share a lesson learned with you???

I felt like it was a good idea to share that I sometimes am in the midst of a stuggle too.  We aren’t dealing with a life or death issue here, but we are dealing with a situation where, as a parent I feel conflicted in a couple ways …

1) I’ve failed – sure, he’s a great kid, very kind and gracious (no matter how “unpopular” classmates are) and has a great heart!  But I’ve obviously failed in one way or another … right?

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. (Psalm 143:8 NIV)

2) This can SERIOUSLY affect his future … in many ways it already has begun to. Not that he has super high ambitions, but I don’t want to see that destroyed before it even has a chance to plant and grow!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

You want to hear something really strange???  After writing all this out and applying scripture (in addition to the many many prayers that I’ve been sending Heavenward), I feel more peace than I have all week!  That’s the amazing power of God!  You know … the whole “Peace that passes all understanding” (Philippians 4:7) part of life walked in His presence!

I hope that sometime in the not-too-distant future I will have a wonderful update to report, but in the meantime I’ll be praying …. trusting …. hoping! Thank you for joining me in a struggle today and I hope that in some odd way you were even blessed through my struggle!

In our culture most of us don’t understand what it is like to want for anything.  Sure, there are people in our country that don’t have a roof over their head or know where their next meal is coming from, but odds are if you’re reading this, you aren’t one of them! 

Many more of us have experienced seasons of little income or wondering how to pay all the bills, but the reality is that for the most part any financial stress we experience is due to our own mis-management or overspending money issues.

I can attest to the fact that financial strain is possibly one of the biggest stress factors for American families, things are tight for us right now and we’re cutting down on many of the “extras” to try and loosen it up a bit.  Truth be told though, many of us still have many “extras” … more than basic phone service, cable or sattelite service, a cell phone or two and maybe even a gym membership. 

While all those things are great, you can see that there are definitely areas that aren’t essential.  I’m not telling everyone to go out and cut off all their services, simply pointing out that what many of us consider necessary really isn’t. 

I’m not here to tell you all the ways to cut down or give up things to “make it” financially.  Living frugally is a great thing, but it isn’t my job to tell you where you need to scrimp.  I am here to tell you though that with God’s help you can succeed! 

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. (Psalm 68:19 NIV)

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. (Psalm 55:22)

I could continue, but I think you get the point.  I’m not saying that you’ll get rich, just that if you take your cares … even the financial ones … to God, and leave them at His feet, He will give you instruction and wisdom to know what to do with them. 

The amazing thing is that although you are often likely to not see more money coming in, you will suddenly find yourself in a position where maybe the finances are stretched a little further, you may see a definite expense that can be easily eliminated, or you just feel more at peace about it.  So, just trust and lay your burdens down … see what happens .

Times are tough, stress is everywhere … financially, physically, spiritually, mentally.  Trying to overcome the odds and get to a place where the stress is manageable takes many people down very different paths.  The challenge as a wife and mother is to find a way to deal with stress on a daily basis when much of that stress is NOT self-inflicted.

I feel inspired to share some thoughts with each of you on these areas of stress over the next couple of weeks.  I’ll be starting in Part 2 with Financial stress and then continuing on through there.  Being of sound mind and body truly is God’s desire for each and every one of us.  Oh so very important as a mom who has to care for so many others!!!  We simply must be taking care of ourselves in order to care for our family.

I’m not the expert at doing this myself, so in many ways the areas I will be addressing are directly my issues, thoughts, scriptures and battles I’m dealing with personally every day.  I may go against the status quo, may challenge the cultural norm, but those who know me know that I do so seeking the best for moms through God’s word!

Our culture doesn’t have a tendency to be very balanced and I honestly believe that leaves a lot of moms (not just the new ones) confused and a little lost in the shuffle.  We are told to put ourselves first, but many {if not most} of us would much rather do without personally, to ensure that our children have everything they need (or in many cases, want).  Moms have a tendency to either lose themselves in their motherhood or focus too much on themselves to make exceptions for their children’s needs.  I know that’s a bit brutally honest, but truth be told, most of us fall in the first category of doing without and losing self.

I don’t know about you, but I feel most content and at peace when everything is balanced out.  When I’m healthy spiritually, physically, mentally … and even in His own way, Financially.  So join me in this quest to get back to the basics, not the culturally induced ones, but the place where God wants me to be as a mom.  You’re likely to see yourself reflected in many of my own thoughts and feelings, and you may simply find encouragement to seek His will and health for you through the scriptures presented in each area.

Side Note: I am not a counselor, and if stress is overtaking your life and is affecting you in a way that is adversely affecting your ability to parent I sincerely encourage you to seek out your pastor and ask for their recommendation of a good counselor.  Many churches provide this service for free and along with offering you practical steps, they also provide support, encouragement and prayer.

It’s officially a fact … I’m going to lose my mind completely very soon if I don’t create a schedule for the daytime!

Now that the boys are all settled into their school routine, I suppose it’s also time that we settle into one at home.  Getting used to the boys being gone all day feels like a little more of an adjustment than usual this year.  Bugs and Monkey were used to being entertained and, let’s face it, I was pretty used to the help … but not the mess (I just won’t go there right now though).

So I’m a little stumped.  I have some great resources to get us through a couple stretches of the day, and there’s always naptime right after lunchtime which is pretty much set in stone.  So what do I do the rest of the day with 2 two year olds and a five year old?

Did I mention that the 2 two year olds REFUSE to play with toys????  They will play with toy telephones which I find a little funny since I’m almost never on the phone LOL.

So, I’m a little lost.  I have some great activities (Wiggle,Giggle,Learn), but they don’t last long and frankly I’m always a little nervous to go on a Field Trip.

Arts and crafts typically end in chaos so I’ve put a brief moratorium on them.  They like to color, but only for a few minutes (then the floors, walls, doors and anything else begin sporting lovely mixtures of crayon colors).

Watching tv all day isn’t exactly the answer either, so I need input (ooooh, sudden flashback to “Short Circuit“).  Here’s what we have so far …

• An unfortunate wake up time of about 5:30 or 6am (something that is truly about to send this particular mommy over the proverbial edge).
• Whine at mom ’till breakfast is served (a given).
• Eat breakfast (by 6:30 usually unless by some blessed miracle they sleep in later).
• Watch a little tv so mom can serve the big boys breakfast, pack lunches and generally make sure that they get themselves going in the morning (big boys would actually RATHER be sleeping – go figure).
• Get big boys off to school.
• {Huge Gap Here}
• Lunchtime 11:00 or 11:30 am
• Naptime Noon ’till 2:30pm
• Cuddle time after nap
• Boys start coming home (though there is sometimes a little gap here too)

There you have it.  The grim reality.  May not look so bad, but that 4 hour span of time between when the last bus pick up and lunchtime can feel like an eternity sometimes as I look blankly at them.

So, if you have an idea or a website, please feel free to leave a comment and share with us all!  I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one in this boat!  So many other moms could benefit from even just a little idea!  I’m not asking you to fill the entire gap …. Rome wasn’t built in a day …. just one idea at a time!