A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:13 NIV)

The grumpies have struck … full force.  Myself and all of the children are infected with this nasty disease! 

It’s the truth though isn’t it?  Grumpiness is just like a virus, it starts with one person and spreads to everyone else.  As a mom, it is difficult for me to admit, but the grumpies usually start with me!  I know, gasp!

We are all prone to the grumpies, but when we have so many little ones in our care, they are bound to “catch them” if exposed long enough by the very mother that wants so terribly to do everything “right”. 

I worry because one of our twins tends to be grumpy much of the time.  But the other one is a very happy guy.  I could sit around and meditate on this concept all day long, I could worry and blame myself, wondering where I went wrong and how to fix it.  This wouldn’t be entirely unusual for me, but it isn’t what I need to do.

I simply need to go to God and ask for help.  Yes, I’ll need to work at getting rid of the grumpies too, but asking for a pleasant and peaceful spirit will definitely help.  Giving the stress behind the grumpiness (or the hormones) to Him doesn’t hurt either. 

Whatever is done, they need to leave, the environment is stifling and yucky.  I fear that an undertone of grumpiness has been around for quite a while and that it only occasionally shows it’s true colors.  I may even need to ask my kiddos for forgiveness.  That is something that can be such a learning experience for both parent and child.  As we realize that we need to be ”real” with our children and as they realize that everyone makes mistakes but there’s better ways to handle it. 

So how do you handle the grumpies?  Are you infected right now?

And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. (2 Timothy 2:24)

You all know that much of my reality revolved around six boys, primarily though my 2 year old twins. I have been noticing a disturbing trend within myself lately though. A little resentment. I find myself complaining that I can eat, sleep think or breathe withough them needing me to help them in one way or another.

The days of hopping down to the lake in town to watch the boys go fishing with their daddy stopped the minute the twins were born. We can no longer make that last minute decision to go to Costco after church or to the mall or even to get pictures done of the older boys. The process of taking 6 children instead of 4 is nearly insurmountable when the youngest of these children is a set of twins.

I found that when children came one by one, it was no biggie, they eat well, play fairly independently and we all adjust to one more member of our home. But when they came as a pair a zillion new challenges suddenly awaited us. Something that I never anticipated, and obviously something I never got used to.

Now, having said all of that I have two things to share …. first, these realities were not apparent until they were about 15 months and second, they are the cutest things you will ever lay eyes on (usually)! There, that’s my disclaimer. Now on with the reality …

As I realized that I was beginning to harbor some resentment toward my little cherubs, I started wondering what I should do. Once again, even though the solution is oh-so-obvious, I find myself struggling with the answer and try to fix it myself. I’m sure you all know that this is not going to work, so why don’t I realize first thing that if I don’t give this to the Lord, I will get nowhere???

So, I am currently in a desperate state of prayer. I have a lot on my plate, I can’t afford NOT to give this heart condition to the Lord. Calling on Him to help me and to bring peace and joy into my heart again especially with my littlest ones. They are not to blame for … well … anything, so I need to grow up and deal with it

Have you found yourself in a position where you resented your life, family, job, responsibilities? It is such a trap isn’t it? If you haven’t already, take it to God in prayer and ask Him to help your heart soften and be filled with His love and joy again.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

A Frog In My Soup has definitely been lacking in the Meat and Potatoes department.  Lot’s of side dishes and a few desserts here and there, but the real substance of the meal is missing these days.  Blame it on summer?  or maybe on the fact that I’m working my tail off to get the house ready to be put on the market???  I don’t really know, but my daily Bible reading has declined as well.

Ah, now it all makes sense, right?  Isn’t it amazing what a huge difference it makes when we are in the Word of God to some extent each day?  It is for me for sure!  It is the very life and essence of my thoughts and definitely creates much more focus and purpose when I make sure I’m spending time in the Word each day. 

Prayer …. yup that’s in there too, for me these days it’s the quickly-throughout-the-day type of prayer that is getting me through, not the sustained, time-on-my-knees listening to His Voice type.  So the combination has created a rather lackluster theme around here. 

For the longest time I have tried - and failed miserably - to do my daily devotions in the morning.  As a mom, we all know this should be done when the children are still sleeping.  My boys are busy bees first thing in the morning and create as much noise as possible to wake up the day (and the rest of the household)!  If only I could awaken with that much energy!

So finally, a thought struggled it’s way through my foggy mind and I realized that I have been wasting away the quietest time of the day at my house … evening!  I’m always up until 10:30pm or 11pm (or later ), so why not make the effort in those great moments before I head to bed???  The 10:00 to 11:00 hour is the BEST and QUIETEST time around here. 

This suddenly occurred to my crazy mind about 11:30 pm last night so I took a few moments to write a page in my journal while making a mental note to create a more purposeful time tonight.  I am so hungry for the Word of God right now!  Seriously!!!  I adore the devotionals I am priveleged to read and publish for our amazing contributors at Faith Lifts and I definitely get a great lift when I take them to heart.  But they, like Sunday Sermons only take me so far and I’m hungry again.

This month I’m going to focus on reading the word and journaling each evening at about 10:30 or 11:00pm.  The idea that I may actually have stumbled upon something that with only a few exceptions might actually work on a VERY consistent basis is super exciting to me!  The fact that I can potentially do this for 30 days and instill it as a “habit” is even more exciting.  But just being able to rest in His presence during the quiet time of day here simply sounds Heavenly!

One thing that I struggle with a little bit as the mom of 6 busy boys is … I LOVE QUIET.  I am an introvert, the person that is refreshed and filled up when things are quietest.  So being in the hustle and bustle of boyness day in and day out without any quiet wears me down to nothing very quickly!!!  I HATE running on empty!  I’m sure you do too!  There are people (extroverts) that are actually refreshed by being in a crowd, that idea is foreign to me as it drains everything I have! 

The point I want to make is that here I am at 36 years old, with 6 children, been married for almost 15 years (anniversary is in a couple of weeks) and a revelation of change just came to me now!  So often I think we get stuck in what we think is The way or the Right way to do things that we can’t see “outside the box”.  That’s where I was. 

If you’re struggling with getting that all-important one-on-one time with God each day, I seriously encourage you to sit down in a quiet moment (’cuz I know we don’t often get more than that little moment of quiet) and look objectively at your day.  Remove the walls that are boxing you into thinking there is a certain time or way that you need to meet with God and simply search for that time that consistently appears in your schedule that you never considered using as your devotional time.

Let me know how it goes or if you have already discovered this time in your life!

Ever get to that place where life isn’t going the way you thought it would?  Where things are going backward and you’re desperately peddling forward?  Where you feel like you’ve lost control of every facet of life … but not in a good way? 

That’s where I’ve been finding myself recently.  The good is being overshadowed by the crazy parts.  I work hard each and every day to find joy, peace and growth in my life.  To be content with where I’m at and to try and make my world a little better place.  Every once in a while though you may get to the point where you find yourself in “the depths of despair” … that’s where I’m at. 

The kids’ last day of school was yesterday, but when they got home from school I was so frazzled I didn’t even know what to do to celebrate or make the day fun.   I’ll be spending most of the rest of this week trying to come up with a plan for the rest of the summer … for all of us.  Fun things and the things that simply MUST get done around the house.  Setting up any necessary appointments for the summer and hopefully some activities to keep everyone moving.

Through it all though, I’ll be desperately crying out to God for the answers and direction!  If nothing else, just to give me peace and rest in the midst of it all.  He is the one solid thing I have on my side!  The One I can call on in my time of need and despair.  The One who loves me more than I can even fathom.  I often don’t call on Him soon enough or take His promises to heart. 

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV)

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV)

The “them” in my life is everything on my “To Do” list, and even in a small way the fear of the crazy, potentially life-threatening things my Twinkies will attempt each and every day. 

Do you have any “Goliath’s” in your life that are leaving you feeling a little discouraged or even terrified?

Do you have anything in your life that is a little off kilter?  I know I have plenty of things I could mention, but tonight CJ and I went shopping after he was done with Youth Group.  We went merrily along our way picking out a couple of things for his 6th Grade Recognition assembly tomorrow (major deal for them, dress code and everything, but I’ll save that for tomorrow) and some groceries to get us through the end of the week.  Toward the end of the grocery store adventure I decided to grab each of us a quick drink from the milk section (CJ wanted strawberry milk and I wanted orange juice).

I know I don’t usually walk you through my grocery store wanderings, but I have a point …

I don’t hesitate to frequently pay over $4 for a gourmet coffee, but it nearly KILLED me to pay $1.43 for an orange juice.  Seriously. 

Perspective changed somewhere along the way.  The not-at-all-healthy coffee that takes me a whole minute to order (not really LOL) and costs a small fortune (but ironically now less than the price of one gallon of gas) is considered just a part of life.  While the healthy single serving of nutritious orange juice that costs less than half the price of the coffee (and aforementioned gallon of gas) seems outrageous.

How many other things in life are twisted that way?  How often do I not notice where the perspective has gone off balance.  Far more often than I like to admit.  So I dared to take that thought to my spiritual life and I came to a challenging conclusion …

If I can take the time to write or read a blog post why can’t I seem to squeeze in reading that one little chapter from the Bible a day?  If I can read over 50 emails a day why can’t I spend some time alone talking with my Savior? 

Ooooooh! Ouch!  Reality of the price I’m willing to pay spiritually kind of works in a rather backward way!  I’m the one who pays big time if I don’t take a moment to be filled and refreshed each day.  And since when did all those other things somehow become more important?  Sure, I don’t logically think they are actually more important than my spiritual well being, but my behavior is saying that they are. 

Actions speak louder than words.  So I’m announcing here and now that I am in need of a priority recheck.   Feel free to hold me accountable.  Really.  Ask me next week if I’ve been regularly feeding my soul not just my outbox.  See if I’ve been spending as much time with the Lord as I have writing blog posts.  After all, sometimes all any of us needs is a little nudge here and there to keep us accountable and on track. 

I had planned on getting back on track today … offer a deep and thoughtful Mommy Reality for you.  Mommy reality has struck me full force.  Nothing deep, nothing too thoughtful, just a lot of reality.

I woke up Sunday morning thinking that my lips felt strange.  I went into the bathroom and one look in the mirror confirmed that they were very swollen.  The only other time I’ve ever had swollen lips I also had hives all over … not so this time.  I took a little Benadryl, just in case, but all that ended up doing for me is landing me back in bed for a 3 hour nap.  Like I have time!

Once I got up instead of getting better, they were worse and now it was too late to go to the walk in clinic to get checked out.  How miserable! 

As we all know … moms are NOT allowed to have anything wrong with them.  It is an odd circumstance that a day will go past in the life of a mother where the housework still gets done even if she’s not the one to do it.  So a sick day often means that much more work in mom’s life the day she gets better. 

My husband is wonderful with the children but … well … that’s all he can handle.  I don’t blame him, if you don’t know the daily routine well or how to predict and (usually) thwart the twins’ mischief you can get in big trouble before you know it.  So he has learned his limits.  Even leaving the room to make a cup of coffee or a snack for them can be treacherous LOL.

So today instead of giving you an inspiring Mommy Reality lesson I simply have to tell you that due to my own reality hitting hard I will be making a trip to the walk in clinic and PRAYING that they can give me something … anything to ease the discomfort and let me feel halfway normal again. 

I won’t get into the pride that has me dreading the thought of going anywhere people can see me.  Nor will I talk about the fact that I can hardly speak nor can I eat anything without pain.  Oh, and I wouldn’t dream of mentioning that I have ten zillion loads of laundry to do today in addition to caring for my kiddos. Nope, I’ll just hope and pray that you have a NORMAL dose of reality today!

Blessings!

Do you ever find yourself making a To-Do list that never ends?  I was an avid list maker all through my teen years and even into adulthood.  My mom was always commenting on my lists and my family all knew I kept them.  To this day if I sound like I’m out of sorts or confused my mom tells me to “make a list” LOL!

I still have many of the lists I made when planning my wedding.  Amazingly there are even small shopping lists from before the wedding that my sister and I were laughing about when we stumbled upon them as we were cleaning one day. 

Let me share one with you:

To Do

*Get marriage license stuff from apartment and take to church.
*Go to bank & deposit money.
*Go to drug store for eyeliner.
*Purchase shoes.
*Fix wedding program at work.
*Be at work for a meeting at noon.

We seriously laugh at that list now.  Oh, to be that organized again … that would be amazing and miraculous.  The details I kept as I made the list - I’m surprised I didn’t schedule in potty breaks as well LOL.  And for Heaven’s sake WHO ON EARTH ONLY GOES TO THE DRUG STORE FOR EYELINER?????????????

Good grief!  This was my life.  Even after we were married I kept lists, the house was always tidy, there was fresh baked bread in my hubby’s lunch every single day!  Seriously! Wow!  To be in that place again!  But the craziest part of all is that the list above is so super short even though it was made DAYS before my wedding day!!!!!

Now my To Do list would look a bit like this:

To Do AM

*Make Granola, Get kids up, rush them through showers, make their lunches, get them out the door for school.
*Find something to entertain the twins so they don’t kill themselves, all morning long.
*Do 3 loads of laundry.
*Feed little three lunch
*Get little three down for naps

To Do PM

*Clean kitchen, fill and run dishwasher, wipe down table, chairs, windows and sweep floor.
*Do three loads of laundry
*wipe down bathroom (boys miss … need I say more?)
*Get little three up from naps to cuddle for a bit.
*Big boys get home, start dinner.
*Prepare dinner, while filling the dishwasher again and folding another load of laundry.
*Create menu for following week and shopping list.
*Serve dinner to family and make sure no one has an event that evening
*Check all homework, clean up dinner, run dishwasher again, do another load of laundry
*Get kids to bed, work, blog and answer 50 emails.
*11:30pm - get to bed!

Sadly that doesn’t completely cover everything I really do.  Throw in there that I check email in the morning and work on design and blogging projects during naptime while I do several loads of laundry and then you’re getting a little closer to the reality of ONE DAY in the life of this mom.  Each day that list could change, but instead of getting shorter I forever seem to be adding more and more tasks to it. 

I am in the process of getting a more organized cleaning schedule under control.  I have it printed out, just haven’t posted it yet, and as we all know if it isn’t posted somewhere very visible … it doesn’t exist!  So onward I trod, not looking back … except for today when all of you hopefully got a good laugh at the carefree To-Do list of a young woman.

I’ve been in a rut for a while now, desperately in need of activities for the little three and a schedule for our day!!!!  I have the activities figured out, thanks to the Parenting Zoo (I highly recommend their parenting toolbox, it’s only $10, I blogged about it over at Froggy Reviews), I just need to get a few supplies, but the schedule - ARGH!!!!  Seriously!

I need to break up the day into short increments - but what??? Every 15 minutes, every half hour, a little of this and a little of that???? HELP! 

The twins are definitely ready to do activities, crafts, and have some structure.  Here I am every day trying to figure out how to balance three children at home (six during the summer), the laundry, the housework, blogging and designs - I know I’m not the only one!!!  It is a full plate, but I know I can do it better. 

The twins are simply bored.  As I type this they have been busy doing a little project that involves sticking “foamies” into coloring books, but I see Monkey walking around the room with about 6 stuck to his bottom LOL!  These are great activities, but they don’t last forever, so I need several of them throughout the day.  They aren’t great at independent play, but can handle it for little bits of time (whether they think they can or not) so I have to incorporate time for the individual areas of my home and work. 

The trick really is finding something that will work for us.  I have used many different planners and schedule ideas, but they ultimately were either too difficult for me to manage or just didn’t offer enough flexibility.  I’m not a schedule person … I know I should be … I try, really I do … but I CAN’T {Yes I’m Whining!}.  So as I work this week on putting together a schedule for my kiddos, feel free to give me ideas, suggestions, things not to do even.  I have tried many things before, but I’m always open to hearing what works (or doesn’t) for other mommies!

My new word - I invented it today and promptly bestowed it upon Bug when trying to find a food that would make this slightly feverish 2 year old Baby happy.  He wanted cheese and only cheese {well, for the moment anyway}, not the pretzels to go with the snack {apparently they hurt his mouth}, so he kept digging for it and saying funny things when he found a piece {”hungy mama, hungy”}. 

Let me repeat it SNOOGER!  Know what it is?  Take a wild guess!!!  Here’s a hint: only the most adorable, pip-squeakiest, persnickety little ones can be called this when they are being … well an adorable persnickety pipsqueak.  Let me tell you I have a few that fit the bill an awful lot of the time!

Then he must wear the title again when he incessantly hands me the tv remote saying “Wubzy, mama, want Wubzy nooooow” complete with whiney-cutesy-you-can’t-resist-me voice. He slept most of the morning and now it is naptime - the only time of the day that I watch a couple of food shows while I catch up on work and laundry.  So, he’s up and Monkey is down {Lion is rebelling against rest time too and being very naughty, but rebellion simply does not fall under the definition of “Snooger”}.  Do I turn on Wubzy for him?  Or try to get him to rest again.

Did you figure out what Snooger is yet?  No?  Ok, hint 2:  It is a combination of two words that most people probably don’t refer to their children as, but I often occasionally do.

As I type this the Wubzy conversation Bug is having with me has risen to a pleading and begging session which is scary-cute: “Pweeeeeeeaaaase, mommy, watch Wubzy peeeease, I wike it Wubzy mama, peeease”.  See scary!  So, now I’m off to give in to the adorable “please” of the slightly ill 2 year old {who, I’m sure will be forever damaged by my giving in to his whim - I’ll expect the blaming to begin later in his life LOL}.  Can I just say that the oddest part of this conversation is that they DO NOT watch the show very often AT ALL!  They just don’t.

Still wondering where Snooger came from?  Well, let me tell you, it’s a combination of Snot and Booger - there you have it!

Happy wordless wednesday everyone, or in my case, not so wordless!  Many of you are aware that my “baby” is growing up.  I have very mixed emotions about that these days and I’ve held my piece as the moodiness began, even when he grew 2 inches since Christmas (and outgrew all of his clothes - grrr), but reality is setting in a little more each day.  I have been noticing over the last couple weeks that his voice is beginning to change (I’m just noticing it now, but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t been going on for a while) and tonight we took him to Jr. High orientation (they don’t start here until 7th grade thank goodness). 

This is my boy (not a great picture):

I have to show this next photo since it includes all three of the oldest boys: CJ is 12, Salesman is 9 and Tater is 8 and yes, there IS that much of a height difference (for the moment anyway):