Over the last nearly 13 years that I have been a mom, how many times have I said “I can do that tomorrow”?  Starting a new schedule, teaching a new manner, instilling a new value? 

It doesn’t need to be a major event in our lives as a parent to kick start our perspective, but all too often that is what it takes.  The situation over the weekend with Sir Lion definitely triggered some thinking and a big-time attitude check!  Many “Mommy Reality Checks” happened for me in a very real and immediate way, but today I want to tackle the one that came to mind first.  How much do I take my kids and my life as their mom for granted?

Today moms are bombarded by ideas that fall outside of the scope of just being a mom.  Let me explain, according to our society, not only are we expected to care for our children flawlessly as a mom, but we are also supposed to be able to maintain a variety of close friendships (leaving our families on a regular basis to go out with them), maintain a perfect home, be a great cook and for many women even work outside the home in the process.  Under that pressure, it is very easy to get to the point of getting overwhelmed - seeing many of our daily tasks and responsibilibies as a mom as a mundane chore that we’d really rather not do instead of seeing them as a privilege. 

For me, this was a wake up call.  Like so many other parents, it took an event like this (thankfully fairly minor in my case) to help me see a few things more clearly!  I know that I had been struggling with the issues and current needs of Lion a little more than usual lately.  He’s a great little boy, don’t get me wrong, but he is very strong willed, so when he enters a stage that has a naughty tendency that needs to be tweaked, it can be quite consuming.  

As the mom of many it is not all that unusual for me to be in a constant state of attitude or behavior “tweaking” with one child or another, but I have been fairly fortunate so far not to have too many children requiring major adjustments at the same time.  Sure, there will be one really needy one and one or two others that just need some very minor reminder tweaking.  This time though, he wasn’t alone in the more major behavioral issues (remember I have one very soon entering the world of teens).  So my attitude was going downhill fast. 

I became the one that needed possibly the biggest attitude adjustment of all though.  Blame it on summer break, blame it on the yucky cold I’ve been fighting, blame it on whatever you want, but the fact remains that the responsibility for my actions lays entirely on my shoulders and I need to answer for my behavior.  Not so pretty when you’re the mom though is it? 

So, that’s where I am, back to Mommy Reality 101 - Part A, do not take even one day with your children for granted.  Starting each day with a fresh new attitude isn’t easy for us, but it is important.  The journey to that new beginning will look different for each mom, for me it would be great if I could have a little quiet time to myself in the morning.  A huge and nearly impossible feat, but I’d love to find a way.   Hope you’re having a fresh new day with your kiddos, seeing them through the eyes of their Creator and seeing your position as the ultra important one that it is - your gift from God.

Oh, how sweet the light of day, And how wonderful to live in the sunshine! Even if you live a long time, don’t take a single day for granted. Take delight in each light-filled hour, Remembering that there will also be many dark days (Ecclesiastes 11:7 The Message)

Just wanted to report that Lion appears to be doing amazingly well!  We were told that despite the antibiotics there was a possibility that he would get worse before he got better, but it seems to be going better than expected. 

He started the antibiotics late Friday night ….. VERY late considering we had to go in search of the pharmacy AFTER we left the ER.  But he didn’t mind.  He had fallen asleep about an hour before we left the ER and woke up as we were dropping off the prescription at the pharmacy (yes we FINALLY found one).  He was happy though because while we waited for the prescription to be filled he finally got his promised ice cream (shake actually, but he didn’t care).  He hadn’t eaten since about 2pm earlier that day, so he was very hungry.

I was amazed when out of the blue he walked over to me on Sunday afternoon and said “Look Mom” as he looked up to the ceiling fast and easy.  He hadn’t been able to look up AT ALL!!!!!!!  Then he follows that little feat with “and it doesn’t hurt anymore Mom!”.  As a Mom this was a HUGE DEAL!

I know I’m using caps A LOT, but I HAVE to under the circumstances!!!!!!  This is really and truly a BIG THING!  I’m sure you understand! 

So as we pray for this wonderful improvement to continue, I’ll be offering up a Mommy Reality a little later today

There is nothing more frightening than a child making his or her way into your household cleaning supplies. It’s a parent’s worse nightmare! So, I understand how important it is as a mom to find alternative ways to clean my home without jeopardizing the health of my children and family. We are all trying to become more environmentally aware of the dangers of toxins, not only in our home but as it relates to polluting our air, waters, and landscape.

Are your household cleaners safe? If not, here are some measures you can take to make your home a healthier one.

This is what absolutely amazes me … Vinegar, Borax, Lemon Juice, Olive Oil, Salt, and Baking Soda are all the ingredients you can use to clean your entire home. They are safe, non-toxic, and can do just as good a job as your more toxic household cleaners.  Simple easily purchased items that can keep your home and children healthy.

I personally struggle with products that contain bleach, I know what that can do to people and the horrible caustic side effects of breathing it in, especially for someone who may be prone to asthma.  My sis and I completely cleared our homes of it when her youngest son started having severe asthma issues.  It’s just not worth it to have such questionable substances in the home.

Let’s begin with windows. Instead of using a popular brand of glass cleaner, use water with vinegar and lemon juice to spray onto your windows. Vinegar can also be used to clean surfaces in your kitchen and bathroom; just add salt and water. If the oven needs to be cleaned, use liquid soap, Borax and warm water. Borax can also be used as a disinfectant in hot water as well as for cleaning toilets.

Polish your furniture with olive oil and lemon juice. You can also use lemon juice to polish copper kettles; just add a bit of salt. For use in the bathroom, use baking soda and warm water. This can also be used to unclog the drain by pouring the baking soda down the drain with a cup of vinegar.

I’d also like to point out that many stores are carrying a wide variety of organic and safe cleaners in it’s own section and I HIGHLY recomment Mrs. Meyer’s products!!!!!

At a time when pollutants are contributing to the depletion of the ozone layer; while gas and oil fumes are literally killing our natural resources; it is time to take a hard look at what we can do as individuals to decrease the toxins from our air and water. Perhaps if we begin to use alternative methods to using brand named household cleaners, we can send a clear and definitive message to these companies that toxins are no longer an acceptable form to be used in any capacity. It all begins with us taking a stand; it all begins at home.

Challenging, time consuming, overwhelming, confusing, enjoyable, crazy … just a few of the words that I hear describing parenthood.  There are a lot of positives too, but we all know that sometimes they are hard to see.  There’s a little trick though that can make some of the most annoying and crazy things your kids do a little less frustrating. 

While we’re busy trying to pick our battles, we often need to stop and assess a situation as though from the outside.   For instance, it makes me a little more than crazy that all of my older boys have a serious tendency to miss when using the toilet …. and miss often! 

If I were to just get frustrated or angry with them and give them a lecture, I’m simply wasting my breath.  I’ve been pretty relaxed about it lately trying to come up with a solution that requires no lectures or yelling on my part, but really sends the point home. 

Solution - the older boys will each be assigned a day of the week to wipe down the toilet area.  They are all old enough.  The idea here is that if they have to clean it up they are less likely to me as careless, and if they are still careless, I’m not the one having to clean it up every single day. 

Yes, it isn’t foolproof, and I still need to wipe down the seat every time I go in there, but it definitely was a much better solution to this annoying problem.  There are so many other problems like this that again, if we step back and look at it from a different perspective we may come up with a much better and more creative solution.

The point is not to get so caught up in the frustrations of parenting that we can’t see solutions that may be right in front of us.  I’m speaking from experience here!  It is all too easy to just react to a situation or a common issue with each child instead of being PROactive about it!  I learn this over and over again each and every day. 

Sure, it definitely helps if I can start the day ahead of my kiddos … things are always a little rougher if I don’t get up before the twins are wide awake.  This can be another challenge, but it is important or I feel like I’m playing catch up all day.  Also starting the day with prayer is HUGE!  I’m often so busy trying to get ahead of the younger kids that it’s all I can do to send up a quick prayer and that’s if I remember at all.  But again, taking that few extra minutes can make all the difference in the world. 

Do your children do something that is very frustrating right now?  Maybe take a second and step back, looking at that problem objectively …. any new thoughts?

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:13 NIV)

The grumpies have struck … full force.  Myself and all of the children are infected with this nasty disease! 

It’s the truth though isn’t it?  Grumpiness is just like a virus, it starts with one person and spreads to everyone else.  As a mom, it is difficult for me to admit, but the grumpies usually start with me!  I know, gasp!

We are all prone to the grumpies, but when we have so many little ones in our care, they are bound to “catch them” if exposed long enough by the very mother that wants so terribly to do everything “right”. 

I worry because one of our twins tends to be grumpy much of the time.  But the other one is a very happy guy.  I could sit around and meditate on this concept all day long, I could worry and blame myself, wondering where I went wrong and how to fix it.  This wouldn’t be entirely unusual for me, but it isn’t what I need to do.

I simply need to go to God and ask for help.  Yes, I’ll need to work at getting rid of the grumpies too, but asking for a pleasant and peaceful spirit will definitely help.  Giving the stress behind the grumpiness (or the hormones) to Him doesn’t hurt either. 

Whatever is done, they need to leave, the environment is stifling and yucky.  I fear that an undertone of grumpiness has been around for quite a while and that it only occasionally shows it’s true colors.  I may even need to ask my kiddos for forgiveness.  That is something that can be such a learning experience for both parent and child.  As we realize that we need to be ”real” with our children and as they realize that everyone makes mistakes but there’s better ways to handle it. 

So how do you handle the grumpies?  Are you infected right now?

And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. (2 Timothy 2:24)

You all know that much of my reality revolved around six boys, primarily though my 2 year old twins. I have been noticing a disturbing trend within myself lately though. A little resentment. I find myself complaining that I can eat, sleep think or breathe withough them needing me to help them in one way or another.

The days of hopping down to the lake in town to watch the boys go fishing with their daddy stopped the minute the twins were born. We can no longer make that last minute decision to go to Costco after church or to the mall or even to get pictures done of the older boys. The process of taking 6 children instead of 4 is nearly insurmountable when the youngest of these children is a set of twins.

I found that when children came one by one, it was no biggie, they eat well, play fairly independently and we all adjust to one more member of our home. But when they came as a pair a zillion new challenges suddenly awaited us. Something that I never anticipated, and obviously something I never got used to.

Now, having said all of that I have two things to share …. first, these realities were not apparent until they were about 15 months and second, they are the cutest things you will ever lay eyes on (usually)! There, that’s my disclaimer. Now on with the reality …

As I realized that I was beginning to harbor some resentment toward my little cherubs, I started wondering what I should do. Once again, even though the solution is oh-so-obvious, I find myself struggling with the answer and try to fix it myself. I’m sure you all know that this is not going to work, so why don’t I realize first thing that if I don’t give this to the Lord, I will get nowhere???

So, I am currently in a desperate state of prayer. I have a lot on my plate, I can’t afford NOT to give this heart condition to the Lord. Calling on Him to help me and to bring peace and joy into my heart again especially with my littlest ones. They are not to blame for … well … anything, so I need to grow up and deal with it

Have you found yourself in a position where you resented your life, family, job, responsibilities? It is such a trap isn’t it? If you haven’t already, take it to God in prayer and ask Him to help your heart soften and be filled with His love and joy again.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

A Frog In My Soup has definitely been lacking in the Meat and Potatoes department.  Lot’s of side dishes and a few desserts here and there, but the real substance of the meal is missing these days.  Blame it on summer?  or maybe on the fact that I’m working my tail off to get the house ready to be put on the market???  I don’t really know, but my daily Bible reading has declined as well.

Ah, now it all makes sense, right?  Isn’t it amazing what a huge difference it makes when we are in the Word of God to some extent each day?  It is for me for sure!  It is the very life and essence of my thoughts and definitely creates much more focus and purpose when I make sure I’m spending time in the Word each day. 

Prayer …. yup that’s in there too, for me these days it’s the quickly-throughout-the-day type of prayer that is getting me through, not the sustained, time-on-my-knees listening to His Voice type.  So the combination has created a rather lackluster theme around here. 

For the longest time I have tried - and failed miserably - to do my daily devotions in the morning.  As a mom, we all know this should be done when the children are still sleeping.  My boys are busy bees first thing in the morning and create as much noise as possible to wake up the day (and the rest of the household)!  If only I could awaken with that much energy!

So finally, a thought struggled it’s way through my foggy mind and I realized that I have been wasting away the quietest time of the day at my house … evening!  I’m always up until 10:30pm or 11pm (or later ), so why not make the effort in those great moments before I head to bed???  The 10:00 to 11:00 hour is the BEST and QUIETEST time around here. 

This suddenly occurred to my crazy mind about 11:30 pm last night so I took a few moments to write a page in my journal while making a mental note to create a more purposeful time tonight.  I am so hungry for the Word of God right now!  Seriously!!!  I adore the devotionals I am priveleged to read and publish for our amazing contributors at Faith Lifts and I definitely get a great lift when I take them to heart.  But they, like Sunday Sermons only take me so far and I’m hungry again.

This month I’m going to focus on reading the word and journaling each evening at about 10:30 or 11:00pm.  The idea that I may actually have stumbled upon something that with only a few exceptions might actually work on a VERY consistent basis is super exciting to me!  The fact that I can potentially do this for 30 days and instill it as a “habit” is even more exciting.  But just being able to rest in His presence during the quiet time of day here simply sounds Heavenly!

One thing that I struggle with a little bit as the mom of 6 busy boys is … I LOVE QUIET.  I am an introvert, the person that is refreshed and filled up when things are quietest.  So being in the hustle and bustle of boyness day in and day out without any quiet wears me down to nothing very quickly!!!  I HATE running on empty!  I’m sure you do too!  There are people (extroverts) that are actually refreshed by being in a crowd, that idea is foreign to me as it drains everything I have! 

The point I want to make is that here I am at 36 years old, with 6 children, been married for almost 15 years (anniversary is in a couple of weeks) and a revelation of change just came to me now!  So often I think we get stuck in what we think is The way or the Right way to do things that we can’t see “outside the box”.  That’s where I was. 

If you’re struggling with getting that all-important one-on-one time with God each day, I seriously encourage you to sit down in a quiet moment (’cuz I know we don’t often get more than that little moment of quiet) and look objectively at your day.  Remove the walls that are boxing you into thinking there is a certain time or way that you need to meet with God and simply search for that time that consistently appears in your schedule that you never considered using as your devotional time.

Let me know how it goes or if you have already discovered this time in your life!

Ever get to that place where life isn’t going the way you thought it would?  Where things are going backward and you’re desperately peddling forward?  Where you feel like you’ve lost control of every facet of life … but not in a good way? 

That’s where I’ve been finding myself recently.  The good is being overshadowed by the crazy parts.  I work hard each and every day to find joy, peace and growth in my life.  To be content with where I’m at and to try and make my world a little better place.  Every once in a while though you may get to the point where you find yourself in “the depths of despair” … that’s where I’m at. 

The kids’ last day of school was yesterday, but when they got home from school I was so frazzled I didn’t even know what to do to celebrate or make the day fun.   I’ll be spending most of the rest of this week trying to come up with a plan for the rest of the summer … for all of us.  Fun things and the things that simply MUST get done around the house.  Setting up any necessary appointments for the summer and hopefully some activities to keep everyone moving.

Through it all though, I’ll be desperately crying out to God for the answers and direction!  If nothing else, just to give me peace and rest in the midst of it all.  He is the one solid thing I have on my side!  The One I can call on in my time of need and despair.  The One who loves me more than I can even fathom.  I often don’t call on Him soon enough or take His promises to heart. 

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV)

“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV)

The “them” in my life is everything on my “To Do” list, and even in a small way the fear of the crazy, potentially life-threatening things my Twinkies will attempt each and every day. 

Do you have any “Goliath’s” in your life that are leaving you feeling a little discouraged or even terrified?

Do you have anything in your life that is a little off kilter?  I know I have plenty of things I could mention, but tonight CJ and I went shopping after he was done with Youth Group.  We went merrily along our way picking out a couple of things for his 6th Grade Recognition assembly tomorrow (major deal for them, dress code and everything, but I’ll save that for tomorrow) and some groceries to get us through the end of the week.  Toward the end of the grocery store adventure I decided to grab each of us a quick drink from the milk section (CJ wanted strawberry milk and I wanted orange juice).

I know I don’t usually walk you through my grocery store wanderings, but I have a point …

I don’t hesitate to frequently pay over $4 for a gourmet coffee, but it nearly KILLED me to pay $1.43 for an orange juice.  Seriously. 

Perspective changed somewhere along the way.  The not-at-all-healthy coffee that takes me a whole minute to order (not really LOL) and costs a small fortune (but ironically now less than the price of one gallon of gas) is considered just a part of life.  While the healthy single serving of nutritious orange juice that costs less than half the price of the coffee (and aforementioned gallon of gas) seems outrageous.

How many other things in life are twisted that way?  How often do I not notice where the perspective has gone off balance.  Far more often than I like to admit.  So I dared to take that thought to my spiritual life and I came to a challenging conclusion …

If I can take the time to write or read a blog post why can’t I seem to squeeze in reading that one little chapter from the Bible a day?  If I can read over 50 emails a day why can’t I spend some time alone talking with my Savior? 

Ooooooh! Ouch!  Reality of the price I’m willing to pay spiritually kind of works in a rather backward way!  I’m the one who pays big time if I don’t take a moment to be filled and refreshed each day.  And since when did all those other things somehow become more important?  Sure, I don’t logically think they are actually more important than my spiritual well being, but my behavior is saying that they are. 

Actions speak louder than words.  So I’m announcing here and now that I am in need of a priority recheck.   Feel free to hold me accountable.  Really.  Ask me next week if I’ve been regularly feeding my soul not just my outbox.  See if I’ve been spending as much time with the Lord as I have writing blog posts.  After all, sometimes all any of us needs is a little nudge here and there to keep us accountable and on track. 

I had planned on getting back on track today … offer a deep and thoughtful Mommy Reality for you.  Mommy reality has struck me full force.  Nothing deep, nothing too thoughtful, just a lot of reality.

I woke up Sunday morning thinking that my lips felt strange.  I went into the bathroom and one look in the mirror confirmed that they were very swollen.  The only other time I’ve ever had swollen lips I also had hives all over … not so this time.  I took a little Benadryl, just in case, but all that ended up doing for me is landing me back in bed for a 3 hour nap.  Like I have time!

Once I got up instead of getting better, they were worse and now it was too late to go to the walk in clinic to get checked out.  How miserable! 

As we all know … moms are NOT allowed to have anything wrong with them.  It is an odd circumstance that a day will go past in the life of a mother where the housework still gets done even if she’s not the one to do it.  So a sick day often means that much more work in mom’s life the day she gets better. 

My husband is wonderful with the children but … well … that’s all he can handle.  I don’t blame him, if you don’t know the daily routine well or how to predict and (usually) thwart the twins’ mischief you can get in big trouble before you know it.  So he has learned his limits.  Even leaving the room to make a cup of coffee or a snack for them can be treacherous LOL.

So today instead of giving you an inspiring Mommy Reality lesson I simply have to tell you that due to my own reality hitting hard I will be making a trip to the walk in clinic and PRAYING that they can give me something … anything to ease the discomfort and let me feel halfway normal again. 

I won’t get into the pride that has me dreading the thought of going anywhere people can see me.  Nor will I talk about the fact that I can hardly speak nor can I eat anything without pain.  Oh, and I wouldn’t dream of mentioning that I have ten zillion loads of laundry to do today in addition to caring for my kiddos. Nope, I’ll just hope and pray that you have a NORMAL dose of reality today!

Blessings!