I chose to end the stress series by addressing the physical effects it can have on us.  You would think that these effects would be obvious, but all too often they are written off as other things.  Indeed, since one of the ways that stress shows itself physically is to lower our immune system’s defenses to the point where we even find ourselves ill with a cold or the flu (etc.), we don’t immediately chalk it up to stress!

HIstorically, I have also been prone to headaches and muscle aches (clenching my jaw is my problem, other people experience problems with different muscle groups) among other things.  There are even more physical symptoms though that many others experience: backache, weight gain or loss (eating or not eating is a common reaction to stress), irritable bowel (yup, I was known for this one too when I was younger especially!), nausea, dizziness, hives or eczema, not sleeping (insomnia), fast heartrate (often triggering panic attacks).

Again, these things are often all too easy to overlook.  I almost wonder how many times I have had to go to the doctor for one problem or another that could very well have been stress induced.  Don’t get me wrong! I have a wonderful MD and I do recommend that anyone with serious physical symptoms be seen and treated by one, but I also have THE Physician readily available to me.  If I go to Him, he can help me find and deal with the non-physical issues in my life that are contributing to or causing the physical ones.

I particularly enjoy Malachi 4:2 “But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall.”  Getting to the bottom of the stress in our lives can take faith, prayer and diligence, but getting to a place where we can find balance, hope and peace is such a wonderful reward!

I think that 2 Timothy 1:7 truly is the best verse to wrap up this entire subject:

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (KJV)

I hit the wall today, I lost it emotionally, I broke down and cried …. more like sobbed actually.  The weight of my responsibilities and a feeling of failure had taken hold and I had nothing left to fight it.

Have you ever felt this way???  All too often it isn’t something big that does it either.  It’s as if we are teetering on that proverbial cliff’s edge as our cares and problems surround us and it’s that teensy little pebble of an issue that pushes us over the edge.

Thankfully God’s careful and close hand is ever-present to catch us when we fall … if we let Him!

Emotional signs of stress show themselves in many different ways, sure there’s the simple break-down-and-cry routine that I had, but there are so many other ways: moodiness, short temper, restlessness or can’t relax, feeling lonely and isolated, depression, being irritable and impatient, feeling overwhelmed and feeling tense or edgy.

I’ll be the first to admit that my hormones aren’t always nice to me!  They are often responsible for some serious issues emotionally, but they aren’t always the cause of a bad mood or a bad day!

Now, if I could only remember in the moment like I had this morning to call on God and ask for His help!  Why is that always an afterthought?  You would think I would get it by now, I mean seriously how long will it take for me to figure it out?  As I sit there suffering needlessly while He waits to comfort and support me.

Faith!  Did you know that the Bible has two scriptures that reference the amazing things that can happen if we have the faith of a tiny little mustard seed (Matthew 17:20 & Luke 17:6)?  I thought there was only one, but not only can we move mountains, but we can move a mulberry tree into the sea … amazing!

Matthew 10:29 and Luke 12:6 tells us that God takes care of the sparrows (”Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies ? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God.” - Luke 12:6) a tiny little bird. Then reminds us in Matthew 10:31 and Luke 12:7 that we are worth far more than that sparrow (”So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” - Matt 10:31), so why should He let us fall?

If you’re experiencing a situation where you feel overwhelmed, depressed or any number of the other symptoms I mentioned today, I encourage you to take it to God.  I’m not saying that further action won’t be necessary, just that He will give you the wisdom and comfort you need to get where you need to be to be healthy .

The overall signs of stress can show themselves in so many ways and I do not at any time want to say that all stress will be seen in all areas.

I am an internalizer.  I know that’s not a technical term … it’s a Shera term.  I have always been an introvert.  I like to keep my thoughts to myself (except here LOL) and look like I’m unruffled on the outside.  But when stress hits or I’m confronted with a stressful situation, you should see the war and storm going on inside.

Although the result of that storm does tend to manifest itself physically (we’ll deal with that later this week), it can also make me feel dazed, confused, muddled, disorganized and my thoughts can be cloudy.  The problem for me is that this can go on for days, even many days before I am able to clear the fog and feel “normal” again.  Though this could be seen as a form of depression and there definitely are some elements to it, it is also directly a result of stress in my life that has not been handled.

As a mom, having a clear head is pretty much an essential part of the job.  Sure we all have our off days, but you know as well as I do that the children still have activities, there are still meals to be prepared, homework to be completed, dishes to be done and toilets to be cleaned.  Having an off day for a mom does not cause the world to halt for us.  We have to move on, get beyond it, and maybe even get to the root of the problem.

For me, it may take a little too long to realize that I’m not feeling up to par … it’s obvious with a physical symptom, but sometimes a groggy mind doesn’t stand out as quickly.  So once I see it I try to stop, pray and find the cause.  There does usually seem to be a cause, though it isn’t always from what I think.

The funny thing is that it isn’t always some major event that makes me stressed.  Just a simple imbalance of life can do it too.  If I’m not spending time in the Word and in prayer along with the other balancing things in life, I get stressed and this is one of the prime areas I’m hit.  So, I start with prayer … by going to God and asking Him for a clear mind and to clearly show me where the stress is coming from.

I have found a couple of questions that are very effective when I feel stressed:  Am I not spending enough time in the Word and Prayer each day?  Am I running on empty by not getting enough sleep or eating right?

Those are very simple questions, but believe it or not, they are all too often the culprit.  Financial strain can also be a major issue, too many activities and plans on the calendar can be another, but it is often very basic stuff that has become a mountain.

When I think of “firsts” I immediately begin thinking of all of the baby firsts.  But as I was thinking I realized that we are currently experiencing a brand new series of firsts!

CJ just entered 7th grade thus securing him a rite of passage into the land of Jr. High.  The new firsts are not like anything I could have imagined.  As the oldest child he goes through everything without advance notice of what to expect (as his Daddy and I did).  But as the parent of this oldest child I am experiencing these firsts as well.

Registering for Kindergarten was a rather non-descript event where I grabbed the forms from the school and sent them back in.  For Junior High it is an entire afternoon at the school where we go from one area to another to get organized.

• Register for school - check
• Purchase the PE (sorry, Life Fitness) uniform - check
• Purchase Year book - check
• Purchase Math folder - check
• Get locker assignment information - check
• Get signed up for football - check
• Fill lunch card - check

It was a learning experience for myself and my son … I think.  He did spend a lot of time wandering about greeting friends.  But that’s another point, he wasn’t so shy, he enjoyed hanging out with the other guys who were there.  They were exited, a nervous and guarded excitement maybe, but excited.  Maybe just to see each other, I don’t know, but it was fun to watch.

Football was a first as well.  He’d played League ball for years, but this was different.  Monday through Friday from 2:15pm to 5:00pm (actually more like 5:30pm).  This meant that once school started he would go straight from school to practice on the field and we’d pick him up later.  Definitely another first, but I like it.  Because practices began prior to the first day of school, he was able to get to know a lot of guys in his grade as well as feeling comfortable (ownership even) with his new school campus.

Then came the first day of school.  No longer would he have one teacher and classroom, but now there was 6 classes.  He rode a new bus to his first day of Junior High, had to be responsible to get himself to the lunchroom to pick up his schedule for the first time, had to put his things in his locker for the first time, had to find 6 different classrooms and meet 6 different teachers … for the first time.

Then came (in his opinion) the biggest first of all ….. the first football game!  This was huge for him, he had anticipated this day and worked his heiny off.  It paid off too becuase he played most of the game and he played hard!  They got to experience two big firsts that day - in addition to his first school football game, he also had his first win.

We still have one last first to go … the first bus ride home from Junior High.  Because he stays after school every day for football, he has not ridden the bus home once.  That will happen for the first time this Friday!  I can’t say this is a big first and it won’t be memorable I’m sure, but it is the last of a long series of firsts that we’ve been experiencing and I felt the need to point it out.

Thus proving that firsts don’t always come in the form we expect … especially as a MOM!

Remember to leave a comment linking us to your “firsts” post, especially if you signed up to participate during the invitation.  Remember, Lisa Garrigues will be visiting all of you and if you joined the discussion earlier you will be entered into the drawing to win a copy of Lisa’s book Writing Motherhood for yourself!

Times are tough, stress is everywhere … financially, physically, spiritually, mentally.  Trying to overcome the odds and get to a place where the stress is manageable takes many people down very different paths.  The challenge as a wife and mother is to find a way to deal with stress on a daily basis when much of that stress is NOT self-inflicted.

I feel inspired to share some thoughts with each of you on these areas of stress over the next couple of weeks.  I’ll be starting in Part 2 with Financial stress and then continuing on through there.  Being of sound mind and body truly is God’s desire for each and every one of us.  Oh so very important as a mom who has to care for so many others!!!  We simply must be taking care of ourselves in order to care for our family.

I’m not the expert at doing this myself, so in many ways the areas I will be addressing are directly my issues, thoughts, scriptures and battles I’m dealing with personally every day.  I may go against the status quo, may challenge the cultural norm, but those who know me know that I do so seeking the best for moms through God’s word!

Our culture doesn’t have a tendency to be very balanced and I honestly believe that leaves a lot of moms (not just the new ones) confused and a little lost in the shuffle.  We are told to put ourselves first, but many {if not most} of us would much rather do without personally, to ensure that our children have everything they need (or in many cases, want).  Moms have a tendency to either lose themselves in their motherhood or focus too much on themselves to make exceptions for their children’s needs.  I know that’s a bit brutally honest, but truth be told, most of us fall in the first category of doing without and losing self.

I don’t know about you, but I feel most content and at peace when everything is balanced out.  When I’m healthy spiritually, physically, mentally … and even in His own way, Financially.  So join me in this quest to get back to the basics, not the culturally induced ones, but the place where God wants me to be as a mom.  You’re likely to see yourself reflected in many of my own thoughts and feelings, and you may simply find encouragement to seek His will and health for you through the scriptures presented in each area.

Side Note: I am not a counselor, and if stress is overtaking your life and is affecting you in a way that is adversely affecting your ability to parent I sincerely encourage you to seek out your pastor and ask for their recommendation of a good counselor.  Many churches provide this service for free and along with offering you practical steps, they also provide support, encouragement and prayer.

I simply have to ask … I have no choice … I’m just too curious.  I have some questions for all of you moms!  I have been thinking about adding a topic to my list of ones I speak on, but it comes with a lot of questions I’d like to get a concensus on.  So without further ado ……..

How many of you had set pre-determined ideas of parenting and raising children (in other words before you had any children you had it all figured out)???

If you did, I simply must know how those ideas changed as you became a parent?

Were your ideas severely altered or mildly and why?

I know, I’m just so deep today LOL.  But I really am wondering and hope that many of you can help me in my quest for answers .

Growing up an avid reader and book lover, especially of historical literature, there is a phrase I would often read that signified the longing of a character in the story “to hear the pitter patter of little feet”.

It may have been an impatient parent longing to become a grandparent, or another character wishing to be a parent themselves, but it was always a phrase that seemed to be uttered almost reverently. Even in “real life” I’d hear many adults use the phrase almost humorously. My greatest desire was to grow up and become a mommy myself, so when I read (or heard) that phrase I would imagine the sound of a small child shuffling down the hallway in their sleeper first thing in the morning.

I did discover that when my first child was very young (and my second), this was probably not that far from what I heard each morning and throughout the day. But as you have more children and as they get older, the pitter patter can sound a little more like thunder.

I relish, long for and crave quiet, so as you can imagine, I’m often asking the Lord why in the world He, in His infinite wisdom, decided that I should be blessed with 6 boys! Boys are loud, they are thunderous and they don’t love to sit still. I was COMPLETELY the opposite as a child! So, even though I still LOVE peace and quiet, I’ve adjusted and thank the Lord everyday for the patience he shows me and pray I may extend even a portion of that toward my own sons.

There are many things I have discovered in the pursuit of finding the Pitter Patter of Little Feet: I am blessed (Psalm 128:2), I am an example (Proverbs 22:6), I must trust God for help (Proverbs 3:5-6)! 

So, I’d like to ask all of you today …. Are you prepared for Thunder????

Ever have a day when you’re ready to say, “enough already”?  Let me get super honest here and simply say … that has been my life for the last few weeks.

Not a good motto if you ask anyone, but this is very much a reality for more moms than just me, so I can’t very well overlook it can I?

After doing an entire room full of laundry (and you think I’m exaggerating), cleaning every room and making more meals and snacks than I care to think about, I look around me and find that it immediately has to be done again … it is in fact as bad or worse than when I started.  Sure, I make the boys help, but sometimes it’s just too much!

I simply don’t know anyone who wouldn’t be discouraged by that! It does seem to be a particular phenomenon for moms though.

For instance… if my hubby went to work every day, but found that over the course of a year he was still working on the exact same project he had started at the beginning of the year and was no further along I don’t think he’d continue in that line of work.

It takes a very particular kind of patience, love and longsuffering even, to do the “mom” job. Time to go get some help.

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us (Hebrews 12:1)

Is it really that simple? Yet it says it right there “lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us”. I like the way the Message phrases some of verse 2 [Jesus] “never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way”.  

There it is, the basic problem … I am living in the here and now, not even thinking about the big picture.  I am a detail person, those little things, yes those things, they drive me nuts!  I forget what it’s all about, I forget where I’m headed, so I forget to deal with the bumps in the road along the way!

So, for all of you moms who are dealing a little too much with the here and now these days, look ahead toward the finish line and the true point of it all and maybe, just maybe today won’t seem so endless or pointless.

Over the last nearly 13 years that I have been a mom, how many times have I said “I can do that tomorrow”?  Starting a new schedule, teaching a new manner, instilling a new value? 

It doesn’t need to be a major event in our lives as a parent to kick start our perspective, but all too often that is what it takes.  The situation over the weekend with Sir Lion definitely triggered some thinking and a big-time attitude check!  Many “Mommy Reality Checks” happened for me in a very real and immediate way, but today I want to tackle the one that came to mind first.  How much do I take my kids and my life as their mom for granted?

Today moms are bombarded by ideas that fall outside of the scope of just being a mom.  Let me explain, according to our society, not only are we expected to care for our children flawlessly as a mom, but we are also supposed to be able to maintain a variety of close friendships (leaving our families on a regular basis to go out with them), maintain a perfect home, be a great cook and for many women even work outside the home in the process.  Under that pressure, it is very easy to get to the point of getting overwhelmed - seeing many of our daily tasks and responsibilibies as a mom as a mundane chore that we’d really rather not do instead of seeing them as a privilege. 

For me, this was a wake up call.  Like so many other parents, it took an event like this (thankfully fairly minor in my case) to help me see a few things more clearly!  I know that I had been struggling with the issues and current needs of Lion a little more than usual lately.  He’s a great little boy, don’t get me wrong, but he is very strong willed, so when he enters a stage that has a naughty tendency that needs to be tweaked, it can be quite consuming.  

As the mom of many it is not all that unusual for me to be in a constant state of attitude or behavior “tweaking” with one child or another, but I have been fairly fortunate so far not to have too many children requiring major adjustments at the same time.  Sure, there will be one really needy one and one or two others that just need some very minor reminder tweaking.  This time though, he wasn’t alone in the more major behavioral issues (remember I have one very soon entering the world of teens).  So my attitude was going downhill fast. 

I became the one that needed possibly the biggest attitude adjustment of all though.  Blame it on summer break, blame it on the yucky cold I’ve been fighting, blame it on whatever you want, but the fact remains that the responsibility for my actions lays entirely on my shoulders and I need to answer for my behavior.  Not so pretty when you’re the mom though is it? 

So, that’s where I am, back to Mommy Reality 101 - Part A, do not take even one day with your children for granted.  Starting each day with a fresh new attitude isn’t easy for us, but it is important.  The journey to that new beginning will look different for each mom, for me it would be great if I could have a little quiet time to myself in the morning.  A huge and nearly impossible feat, but I’d love to find a way.   Hope you’re having a fresh new day with your kiddos, seeing them through the eyes of their Creator and seeing your position as the ultra important one that it is - your gift from God.

Oh, how sweet the light of day, And how wonderful to live in the sunshine! Even if you live a long time, don’t take a single day for granted. Take delight in each light-filled hour, Remembering that there will also be many dark days (Ecclesiastes 11:7 The Message)

A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:13 NIV)

The grumpies have struck … full force.  Myself and all of the children are infected with this nasty disease! 

It’s the truth though isn’t it?  Grumpiness is just like a virus, it starts with one person and spreads to everyone else.  As a mom, it is difficult for me to admit, but the grumpies usually start with me!  I know, gasp!

We are all prone to the grumpies, but when we have so many little ones in our care, they are bound to “catch them” if exposed long enough by the very mother that wants so terribly to do everything “right”. 

I worry because one of our twins tends to be grumpy much of the time.  But the other one is a very happy guy.  I could sit around and meditate on this concept all day long, I could worry and blame myself, wondering where I went wrong and how to fix it.  This wouldn’t be entirely unusual for me, but it isn’t what I need to do.

I simply need to go to God and ask for help.  Yes, I’ll need to work at getting rid of the grumpies too, but asking for a pleasant and peaceful spirit will definitely help.  Giving the stress behind the grumpiness (or the hormones) to Him doesn’t hurt either. 

Whatever is done, they need to leave, the environment is stifling and yucky.  I fear that an undertone of grumpiness has been around for quite a while and that it only occasionally shows it’s true colors.  I may even need to ask my kiddos for forgiveness.  That is something that can be such a learning experience for both parent and child.  As we realize that we need to be ”real” with our children and as they realize that everyone makes mistakes but there’s better ways to handle it. 

So how do you handle the grumpies?  Are you infected right now?