And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. (2 Timothy 2:24)

You all know that much of my reality revolved around six boys, primarily though my 2 year old twins. I have been noticing a disturbing trend within myself lately though. A little resentment. I find myself complaining that I can eat, sleep think or breathe withough them needing me to help them in one way or another.

The days of hopping down to the lake in town to watch the boys go fishing with their daddy stopped the minute the twins were born. We can no longer make that last minute decision to go to Costco after church or to the mall or even to get pictures done of the older boys. The process of taking 6 children instead of 4 is nearly insurmountable when the youngest of these children is a set of twins.

I found that when children came one by one, it was no biggie, they eat well, play fairly independently and we all adjust to one more member of our home. But when they came as a pair a zillion new challenges suddenly awaited us. Something that I never anticipated, and obviously something I never got used to.

Now, having said all of that I have two things to share …. first, these realities were not apparent until they were about 15 months and second, they are the cutest things you will ever lay eyes on (usually)! There, that’s my disclaimer. Now on with the reality …

As I realized that I was beginning to harbor some resentment toward my little cherubs, I started wondering what I should do. Once again, even though the solution is oh-so-obvious, I find myself struggling with the answer and try to fix it myself. I’m sure you all know that this is not going to work, so why don’t I realize first thing that if I don’t give this to the Lord, I will get nowhere???

So, I am currently in a desperate state of prayer. I have a lot on my plate, I can’t afford NOT to give this heart condition to the Lord. Calling on Him to help me and to bring peace and joy into my heart again especially with my littlest ones. They are not to blame for … well … anything, so I need to grow up and deal with it

Have you found yourself in a position where you resented your life, family, job, responsibilities? It is such a trap isn’t it? If you haven’t already, take it to God in prayer and ask Him to help your heart soften and be filled with His love and joy again.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. (Ezekiel 36:26-27)

A Frog In My Soup has definitely been lacking in the Meat and Potatoes department.  Lot’s of side dishes and a few desserts here and there, but the real substance of the meal is missing these days.  Blame it on summer?  or maybe on the fact that I’m working my tail off to get the house ready to be put on the market???  I don’t really know, but my daily Bible reading has declined as well.

Ah, now it all makes sense, right?  Isn’t it amazing what a huge difference it makes when we are in the Word of God to some extent each day?  It is for me for sure!  It is the very life and essence of my thoughts and definitely creates much more focus and purpose when I make sure I’m spending time in the Word each day. 

Prayer …. yup that’s in there too, for me these days it’s the quickly-throughout-the-day type of prayer that is getting me through, not the sustained, time-on-my-knees listening to His Voice type.  So the combination has created a rather lackluster theme around here. 

For the longest time I have tried - and failed miserably - to do my daily devotions in the morning.  As a mom, we all know this should be done when the children are still sleeping.  My boys are busy bees first thing in the morning and create as much noise as possible to wake up the day (and the rest of the household)!  If only I could awaken with that much energy!

So finally, a thought struggled it’s way through my foggy mind and I realized that I have been wasting away the quietest time of the day at my house … evening!  I’m always up until 10:30pm or 11pm (or later ), so why not make the effort in those great moments before I head to bed???  The 10:00 to 11:00 hour is the BEST and QUIETEST time around here. 

This suddenly occurred to my crazy mind about 11:30 pm last night so I took a few moments to write a page in my journal while making a mental note to create a more purposeful time tonight.  I am so hungry for the Word of God right now!  Seriously!!!  I adore the devotionals I am priveleged to read and publish for our amazing contributors at Faith Lifts and I definitely get a great lift when I take them to heart.  But they, like Sunday Sermons only take me so far and I’m hungry again.

This month I’m going to focus on reading the word and journaling each evening at about 10:30 or 11:00pm.  The idea that I may actually have stumbled upon something that with only a few exceptions might actually work on a VERY consistent basis is super exciting to me!  The fact that I can potentially do this for 30 days and instill it as a “habit” is even more exciting.  But just being able to rest in His presence during the quiet time of day here simply sounds Heavenly!

One thing that I struggle with a little bit as the mom of 6 busy boys is … I LOVE QUIET.  I am an introvert, the person that is refreshed and filled up when things are quietest.  So being in the hustle and bustle of boyness day in and day out without any quiet wears me down to nothing very quickly!!!  I HATE running on empty!  I’m sure you do too!  There are people (extroverts) that are actually refreshed by being in a crowd, that idea is foreign to me as it drains everything I have! 

The point I want to make is that here I am at 36 years old, with 6 children, been married for almost 15 years (anniversary is in a couple of weeks) and a revelation of change just came to me now!  So often I think we get stuck in what we think is The way or the Right way to do things that we can’t see “outside the box”.  That’s where I was. 

If you’re struggling with getting that all-important one-on-one time with God each day, I seriously encourage you to sit down in a quiet moment (’cuz I know we don’t often get more than that little moment of quiet) and look objectively at your day.  Remove the walls that are boxing you into thinking there is a certain time or way that you need to meet with God and simply search for that time that consistently appears in your schedule that you never considered using as your devotional time.

Let me know how it goes or if you have already discovered this time in your life!

This is not a typical Mommy Reality, but it is a very true one for me!  This is going to be a long post, but a story worth telling … and an ending worth reading.  So without further ado …

Three years ago our oldest son, CJ, had a very rough year at school!  He was in third grade and we had just changed districts.  We knew this would be difficult for him since he didn’t handle change all that well, but we also knew that the district he had been in was NOT one that we were comfortable with them continuing all the way through to Jr. High or High School. 

For quite some time we had been trying to find a way to move back into Hubby’s hometown and raise the boys in the schools there.  So we finally took the leap and registered them in the elementary school we thought they’d be in - in a complete act of faith.

There’s a long story involved in why they were in a different elementary school for that first year in the new district, but it turned out to be an agonizing and long year for us. 

CJ is not a kid that just jumps into action the first month of school, things don’t really click with him until sometime in November … ever!  I’m used to it now, but with a new school, everything was a little odd.  When they tested him in the fall he was on the upper end for scores, but by the first conferences, they were concerned about his “lack of attentiveness” and “need for help”  and they wanted him tested. 

This was the beginning of a long, grueling and heart wrenching school year.  One where teachers felt like there was something “wrong” with my child and they didn’t know how to fix it or make him better.  By the end of the year I was ready to quit.  They met with us again and still wanted him tested.  We made it very clear that although we would allow them to do some academic testing there was going to be a limit. 

Right before the end of the school year he did receive the testing and basically we found out that he is dyslexic.  Although I don’t think that’s all there was to it, it was enough to get him into some reading help with an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) to try and get him back on track.

The following year we switched to the elementary school we are still in and LOVE!!!!  We have met some great teachers along the way.  The first year in this elementary for CJ was a bit shaky too though.  I can’t tell you how many times I said “here we go again” that year!  I met with the principal of the school at the first sign of issues and since it was our first year there she was hesitant to do much to help us. 

The teacher of the reading education he was now receiving was AWESOME … seriously!!!  He has worked with her through 4th, 5th & 6th Grade and WOW!  But I’ll get back to that.  The same CANNOT be said of his 4th grade teacher.  It was her first year teaching full time (she’d been a sub until that time) and she treated him like he was a pain.  I won’t get into it much more, suffice it to say that she wasn’t asked to return the following year. 

The principal “got it” by the end of his 4th grade year.  I think she finally realized that I wasn’t one of those parents that found any little thing to complain about … in fact, she hasn’t heard from me again since!!!  She met with me before final placement for CJ’s 5th grade year and the subsequent results changed our lives!

When CJ started 5th grade he hated school and thought he was stupid.  His teacher that year had worked in the corporate world for many years and when she decided to start a family she also chose to become a teacher.  She was a ray of sunshine who entered the classroom believing that her students were each magnificent individuals with amazing abilities and futures.  I cried the first time we met with her as she perfectly described our child’s strengths and weaknesses and what she was doing to encourage him in both. 

He wasn’t a pain to her, he was an individual and in her opinion he was brilliant and she told him so!  She knew, as we did, what he was capable of and instead of letting him slide by with complacency and lackluster work, she required him to live up to his abilities … and he DID!  By the end of the year he had more confidence than I had ever seen in him before and was doing fantastic.  I could go on and on and on about her and the blessing she was to our son, but I must move on!

Here we are now with him in 6th grade.  Still barely meeting his goals for reading and still in the program.  I had desperately hoped that somewhere along the way the IEP would become unnecessary and would be dropped for the following year, but it never happened.  More than that though I desperately prayed that above all else the IEP would disappear by the time he enters Jr. High in 7th grade.

The test that was given to CJ three years ago has to be given every three years until the child is determined to no longer qualify for an IEP (at which time the IEP disappears as though it never existed).  Time to retest arrived a few weeks ago.  The school counselor set it up with me, conducted the test and scheduled a meeting for Hubby and I to go in and discuss the results.

We arrived at the school understandably nervous.  But when we sat down for the meeting we were immediately told “Well, this won’t take long, we have nothing but good news to report.”  Could it be?  Did I hear her correctly?  What exactly does that mean???? 

The bottom line …. he doesn’t qualify for ANY services.  The IEP is no longer valid and will be dropped immediately.  He will have no special services setup for him as of the first day of Jr. High. 

AN ANSWER TO PRAYER.  Not to be taken lightly in my book!

We couldn’t have been more thrilled with this information, but the good news went a little further for us.  You see in giving the test, the counselor had to work one on one with our son for a fairly long time a couple of days in a row and she said that it was a delight to work with him.  I think we must have looked at her rather blankly (are you talking about my son?) so she told us that she usually has to work with children who are disrespectful and very unpleasant.  “He was so polite and kind and did just what I asked him with a great attitude.  You have a very nice young man there.”  Wow!  So, can I see that a little more at home?

I didn’t actually realize the enormity of this until later that day as I drove CJ to Youth Group.  Suddenly it hit me like a ten ton brick … I prayed for this, exactly this, that all of education plan would be dropped by the time he entered Jr. High …. and it happened!  I was stunned, overwhelmed, and I cried!  Explaining the feelings and the miracle of those results to my son was a blessing for me … and him! 

So, if you’ve stayed with me through this entire book-of-a-post I just want to say … Lean on Him and trust your cares to Him.  Be amazed at His awesome gifts along the way.  He hears the heart of a Mother and Father and wants nothing more than to see His children be blessed.  He loves your children even more than you and sometimes all we have to do is ask and trust and let him take care of the rest.

Be blessed this week!

I had planned on getting back on track today … offer a deep and thoughtful Mommy Reality for you.  Mommy reality has struck me full force.  Nothing deep, nothing too thoughtful, just a lot of reality.

I woke up Sunday morning thinking that my lips felt strange.  I went into the bathroom and one look in the mirror confirmed that they were very swollen.  The only other time I’ve ever had swollen lips I also had hives all over … not so this time.  I took a little Benadryl, just in case, but all that ended up doing for me is landing me back in bed for a 3 hour nap.  Like I have time!

Once I got up instead of getting better, they were worse and now it was too late to go to the walk in clinic to get checked out.  How miserable! 

As we all know … moms are NOT allowed to have anything wrong with them.  It is an odd circumstance that a day will go past in the life of a mother where the housework still gets done even if she’s not the one to do it.  So a sick day often means that much more work in mom’s life the day she gets better. 

My husband is wonderful with the children but … well … that’s all he can handle.  I don’t blame him, if you don’t know the daily routine well or how to predict and (usually) thwart the twins’ mischief you can get in big trouble before you know it.  So he has learned his limits.  Even leaving the room to make a cup of coffee or a snack for them can be treacherous LOL.

So today instead of giving you an inspiring Mommy Reality lesson I simply have to tell you that due to my own reality hitting hard I will be making a trip to the walk in clinic and PRAYING that they can give me something … anything to ease the discomfort and let me feel halfway normal again. 

I won’t get into the pride that has me dreading the thought of going anywhere people can see me.  Nor will I talk about the fact that I can hardly speak nor can I eat anything without pain.  Oh, and I wouldn’t dream of mentioning that I have ten zillion loads of laundry to do today in addition to caring for my kiddos. Nope, I’ll just hope and pray that you have a NORMAL dose of reality today!

Blessings!

So many moms look like they have it all together.  They have the perfect life, the perfect car, the perfect kids, the perfect home … or do they????

Do we really know the woman we are pitting ourselves against?  Usually the answer is no!  Because if we did we would realize one of two things -she’s just like us and simply has a knack or gift for making things look great or she’s really shallow and focuses only on material gain. 

This is reality.  I don’t mean the second one as a slam and more often than not the woman you see that “has it all together” is the former of the two and is totally worth getting to know and hang out with.  We are all human, no one can keep up a façade forever.  So for the second woman you really should pity her because little will be left when her material posessions and friendships are gone.

The point is … THEY ARE NOT BETTER THAN YOU!

If you guessed that this is from a “been there, done that” perspective, you’re right.  I am fortunate enough to have many women in my life that I have known since they were little girls (emphasis on “they”, I was several years older … am still several years older than “they” ).  These girls would look to many people like they have it all together, and in many ways they do, but if you get to know them you will see and learn two things immediately: First, they LOVE their family with everything they have and totally put them first … Second, they are just like you and sometimes their kids drive them nuts and the housework makes them crazy.

Then there are women that I met through church or a mommy group and thought they were amazing!  Well, I still think they are amazing, but in a different way … they too are just like me and I am honored to have them in my life.  They are dynamic, energetic and creative but, the bottom line is they just want to be in God’s will and serve their family and friends.

Yes, there’s the other woman, that once you get to know her, you realize that she does have an amazing house that’s almost always clean, and kids that are always dressed perfectly and she is always wearing the most current style with the perfect haircut and manicure.  So what’s different about this woman?  Even though you would see ALL of the typical flaws, imperfections and realities if you got close enough, she won’t let you, you will remain an arm’s-length away.  They maintain the perfect façade and don’t like to let people look deep enough to see the reality (they are just like the rest of us). 

So once again it is all about perspective!  How we perceive another human being is so often not correct at first glance.  So dig a little deeper, don’t be intimidated.  Most of the women you meet will be those amazing women that you thank God for placing in your life!  Yes, occasionally, very occasionally the shallow ones come along, but when that happens it is refreshing to know that they aren’t the norm and in God’s eyes there really is no one better than you :) . 

He loves you as you are and will meet you where you are!  If you need him he’s truly only a short reach away.  So if you are having one of those moments in life where you don’t feel like you just add up because you are comparing yourself to the next mom over … stop, and try to take a look at the situation through God’s eyes.  You will see the truth - you are loved, accepted and treasured!

Be Blessed!

Guard them!  I could seriously leave this post right there and have still spoken the foundation of what I feel led to share today.  Guard your mind and thoughts ladies!  It is far too easy for us to let them get carried away.  

As women we have a tendency to read between the lines, or let our thoughts run rampant and grow.  Far too often we don’t hold them in check, then we’re left with a heap of rubble inside or out.  It is - in my opinion - most often the first place of attack by the enemy for women.  One little thought, one little nudge, one little crack in a normally healthy way of thinking can lead to something much more than we ever could have imagined.

Letting our mind run amuck is - again, in my opinion - truly where many anxiety and stress issues begin. In Psalm 55 the second half of verse 2 and the first half of verse 3 says: “My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught at the voice of the enemy.”  The Bible even mentions that Daniel’s “thoughts terrified him” (Daniel 4:19 and 7:28).  Obviously this is not a new idea by any means.

How are you today?  Does your mind need to be restored and refreshed with a new and purer perspective? I don’t even want to begin to think how many days I have begun - or ended - with a “messed up” thought life.  Maybe I’m the only one, but there are days when the events all seem to build until at the end of the day I am left with a mountain of rubble to sort through. 

As a mom there are so many more things that add to this!  Some of the less than positive conversations, a situation with a child that I would rather not have had - suddenly reappear in my mind at the end of the day only to be met by a tired and half-rational thought process that blows everything out of proportion.   Also be very careful what you allow into your mind through movies, television, books and even inappropriate or insincere conversation.

~ “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Phillipians 4:7

I am so very thankful that we can always go to God for renewal of mind and spirit, and most importantly for peace! 

~ “You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.” Psalm 139:2
~ “The mind of a sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace” Romans 8:6

Although this would be a very appropriate title as my boys play outside most of the time hunting creatures and seeking adventure and imaginary enemies (LOL), I am actually talking about the show on the Discovery Channel. Survival shows are all the rage in our home.  The Discovery Channel has plenty of them throughout their family of channels (mainly on The Discovery Channel and Discovery Kids), primarily on Friday and Saturday nights.

We only get sattelite service where we live and that means we have to watch many shows 3 hours early or 3 hours late - even though we’re pacific time, we get many channels on EST.  Believe it or not, this can actually be a good thing in our boys’ opinion since it gives them more opportunities to catch up on the latest episodes.

Man vs. Wild is always the favorite around here though they have just discovered another show called The Alaska Experiment.  It is funny to me how some of these “similar” survival shows can be so different.  Man vs. Wild is all about the adventure and shock factor whereas Sirwhinerman Survivorman is more about the endless days and nights and all the drama. 

For Heaven’s sake, how many crazy things can one man (ie: Bear Grylls) do, eat and see in one episode?  For instance, Friday night there was a new episode of him in Zambia and here’s a run down of the “adventure”:

Things He Did:
~ Dropped off into raging river from a helicopter (on a body board no less), climbed at least two slippery sheer cliffs (called one of them “irresistible” LOL)
~ Poor man, I’ll list the things he ate in a moment, but the last “lovelies” that he consumed apparently sent his body over the proverbial edge because he spent much of the rest of the show miserable with diarrhea.
~ Built a pyramid fire to signal the helicopter that was picking him up
~ Exited the area by hopping onto the landing gear of the helicopter and hanging on as it carried him out heehee.

What He Ate:
~ Catfish (caught amidst Hippos and Crocodiles)
~ Grubs - not just any grubs either one of them was ginormous, but I’ll spare you the GORY details.
~ A Bullfrog - can I just say EWWWW!  It truly was nasty!
~ “Chargrilled brightly colored worms” - he got sick after eating these so they obviously should have been avoided.
~ Because of his poor stomach he filtered some of the local water and made a charcoal tea to soothe it.

Things He Saw:
~ Hippos
~ Crocodiles
~ Elephants - this was TRULY AMAZING there was a herd of over 80 elephants right in front of him!
~ Leopard prints and kill
~ Hyena prints
~ Many Many Critters ‘n such

There you have the show (can I emphasize here again this was ONE EPISODE) in a nutshell.  Sometimes I just feel like saying “holy cow man you are a little nuts” even if he DOES have a fully equipped camera crew with him.  But I love his truly genuine regard, appreciation and amazement at the beauty around him throughout his “adventures”.  But I’m also always hanging on to the edge of my seat and covering my eyes. 

For the boys it’s all about the gross things he eats.  Believe it or not they actually do have their limits, on one episode he ate a tree frog and that was completely over the top in The Salesman’s opinion, but they love seeing him do crazy things and truly enjoy getting grossed out by his “food”.  If you’re looking for enough drama for even a teenage girl, watch Sir-whiner-man Survivorman.  I’m not saying that I don’t appreciate some of the information and tips that he shares, but he stays in the same place night after night, monologuing about each and every detail about everything around him and what he’s doing and the show is a little like this sentence, going on and on instead of really getting anything done.

I have to say though that these men are probably living the dream of every (almost) little boy.  Life is full of reality each and every day even for children, so it is truly amazing that “reality” shows (we all know that much of what happens on them is edited and staged for entertainment value, but still …) can put a whole new twist on said “reality”. 

What if we looked at our lives through the eyes of a reality show?  We’d see the adventure and take it - we’d notice the incredibly amazing beauty around us and be so thankful for the opportunity - we’d try new things that may not turn out very well, but we tried them anyway and lived to tell the tale.  I think we’d appreciate everyday life and the blessings we’ve been given just a little bit more. 

So today I’m wishing you all a little adventure, maybe even a little drama.  A renewed outlook and amazement at the beauty around you - blog about it, turn your life into a reality show for one day and see if your perspective changes just a little. 

This post has been given many titles throughout the weekend … seriously!  By the time we arrived at our cabin Friday night the title was Two Year Olds & Tradition by the time we checked out on Sunday the title had changed to What to Do When Tradition Goes Awry then upon return and having a moment of peace for the first time all weekend I realized that I had simply had A Little Two Much Reality. 

I can honestly say it was an adventure and a learning experience.  Outside of that I’m not really sure … tradition still rates super high in my book, but I’m the first to admit that your traditions still need to fit within the reasonable limits of your sanity. 

Friday night we made it about 2 1/2 hours without incident.  Dinner time rolled around as we rolled into the last large town on our way to the final destination.  One of the Twinkies was stinky, so we stopped at a family restaurant to have dinner.  It is always an eye opening event as the boys really do behave quite well when we go out to eat a nice sit-down dinner like this.  We don’t do it all that often, but it is nice to see them behave so well. 

Unfortunately things didn’t progress quite so nicely for the rest of the trip.  The Twinkies weren’t at all happy about being loaded back into the car and their little cups from the restaurant could only entertain them for so long … then the screaming began.  In order to help calm the chaos CJ would occasionally hand each of them a cracker, after a while though Bug was just D-O-N-E.  Problem was we were still quite a ways from our final destination. 

About a half-hour before we were there Bug got sick … Car sick … not just the turn green and need air type, the full out oh-my-goodness-did-he-really-eat-that-much kind!  Yup - that kind!  He was covered, it was so awful (side note: Monkey historically is the one to have car-sickness, but he was absolutely fine in that department, Bug has never gotten car-sick).  As a mom this was the last straw, my baby was so upset about being covered in “yuck” and kept trying to clean himself up.  It was the saddest, most pitiful thing I have ever seen and I began to cry!!! 

We were towing our fishing boat behind the Yukon and were in such a rural area there wasn’t even a side of the road, let alone anywhere to stop.  By the time we got to the cabins to check in he had fallen asleep.  As Hubby checked us in I quickly stripped him down to his diaper and asked CJ to donate his favorite Football Sweatshirt to the cause - he happily did, blessed boy! 

Whew, we were finally there, drama was dealt with and were into the cabin.  Now for the marathon of getting crazy-excited little boys to bed.  We let them explore the cabin and get the wiggles out for a little bit as they worked out the sleeping arrangements amongst themselves.  It was decided that CJ would have the downstairs bedroom all to himself.  I have no idea how he managed to get that, but he was thrilled!

The next morning the boys were up at the crack of dawn (literally) and I was exhausted.  It had taken a couple hours between hubby and me to get the babies to go to sleep.  But we got up, showered, made breakfast and were somehow out the door with everyone and everything in tow by 9:00(ish) am.  In “regular life” that would be almost a miracle, so I have no idea how we pulled it off there.

A quick stop at an espresso stand (thank goodness for something civilized) and off to the lake we went.  Hubby launched the fishing boat with CJ’s help and as soon as the car was parked he and the 4 oldest boys were off fishing in the lake.  There I was … all alone (well, except for my MIL) … with the twins … and my in-law’s rv. 

No toys to play on anymore, aparently the state decided it needed to be torn out, but I did the best I could.  I grabbed a couple of balls out of the back of the car, which entertained them for about 5 minutes - maybe 10!  That is all!!!  Then we ran around, but the problem isn’t that they are active two year olds, it is that they love to go the opposite direction from one another and they will NOT stop when asked.  We have worked and worked on this, even when there didn’t seem to be a reason to work on it, but ……… 

Anyway, I took them to the sand pit - another 10 minutes.  Then I decided to try snack-time, another 5 minutes.  Hmmmmm, considering that the other guys would be out on the boat for hours I was in a bit of a pickle!  So I contained them in the RV for a while.  Trying to get them to color or play with play dough or something.  Finally naptime rolled around and then I had another dilemma … I had been thinking I would take them back to the cabin, but with hubby on the lake and the boat trailer still hooked up to the SUV I wasn’t going anywhere.   OK, plan B (or K as the case may be) - put them to sleep in the trailer.  So, MIL kicked FIL out of the rv so that I could try and put them to sleep - it was a long and grueling process, but just as they were about to drift off to dreamland the boys came back in - ha. 

Which plan am I onto now????  Well, they did finally take their nap, the boys eventually finished fishing for the night (poor things, only Lion caught a fish and they all tried so hard) so we went back to the cabin for dinner and bed.  Things went a lot more smoothly Saturday night.  Our cabin was beautiful!  It was a little scary with the stairwell and the twins, but other than that I enjoyed it so much. 

The story to beat all stories is being posted very soon, but it will be protected so if you want to read it send me an email and I’ll give you the password

We made it home in one piece, but not without a few thoughts about future trips (I’ll share those another time too - no password required).  It was honestly the first time I had a chance to relax all weekend.  Not to say that it was absolutely terrible, but it was very challenging and I was on edge the whole time trying to anticipate (and thwart) any life-threatening decisions the twins made.  On the up-side, the older four were a dream (well, outside of the bickering in the car that is)!  Even LION - who still had to be watched like a hawk and is apparently smitten with 3 year old girls with curls - heehee!  He loves to fish with all the big boys and could be trusted to be in the boat or on the shore (with an adult nearby of course) without incident.

So here I am finally able to breathe and hoping you’re still awake as I am pondering my double dose of reality this weekend.   I can honestly say that I hope your weekend was a little less eventful than mine

That’s right, I relish obscurity!  Having words like unnoticeable & unexceptional attached to my humble little self isn’t completely horrible in my mind.  I’ve never loved standing out in a crowd, in fact I’ve spent a lot of time over the years simply trying to make sure I blend in. 

Hubby and I went out on a date last weekend and it was lovely.  Finding childcare for 6 children is definitely a challenge.  Our oldest feels he’s too old to be “sat”, but he’s waaaaaaaaaay too young to handle all his brothers.   So if we are ever presented with an opportunity where someone is willing to come in and watch them all, let me tell you, we take it and RUN!

We ran a few errands and went to a very nice dinner on the waterfront.  It was so nice to have time to ourselves without kiddos hanging on us, whining at us, yelling in our ear for attention or having to instruct them the whole time.  A nice, quiet, civil meal. 

There were many celebrations going on in the restaurant we ate at and there was a hubbub all around us.  As we were waiting for our dessert I suddenly turned to my husband and said, “Obscurity really is highly underrated”.   He wore the same quizzical look you probably have on your face right now too . 

You see, after a whole entire lifetime spent trying to be relatively unnoticed in public I am now a spectacle anytime I go anywhere with even a portion of my children.  Even going out with just my three youngest can turn into a spectator sport.  I went against the norm by having 6 children - I understand that and don’t mind, but it does present a unique set of issues when going out in public. 

Just having 6 children inspires the “are they all yours” and “how do you feed them all” (like I’m going to pick one and say it’s their turn not to eat LOL) questions.  Add in the fact that they are all boys and then you get the “wow, you have your hands full”, “are they all boys?” and “were you trying for a girl?” comments and questions.  Then you get to top it all off with the fact that the youngest two are twins and that has a whole set of crazy questions all it’s own.

I do try to be nice, but to be honest with you sometimes the questions and comments can get down right rude not to mention the fact that (remember my love for obscurity here) it steps way over my comfort zone for appropriate conversation and stranger involvement.  It is very odd to have someone you have never seen before in your life, boldly approach you and ask “so, are you done yet?” - Just sayin’!

There’s another interesting side effect to knowing that you’ll stand out like a sore thumb in public - as a mom I intensely feel that they must always look and act perfect.  I have 6 boys ladies!  It’s extremely difficult to get every single one of them out the door with clothes that aren’t filthy by the time they get into the car that sits 6 feet from the front door, let alone have all of them sparkling with every hair in place.   Yet I feel the unnerving need to always present a certain image in public. 

Everyone wants a well-behaved, clean-cut clan, but when we only had three children it never occurred to me to go over each child 2 or 3 times before they met with approval.  A simple trip to the grocery store was exactly that . . . simple!  Throw on some shoes, hop in the car and get the groceries.  I honestly never thought twice about it.  But when you know that every eye in the store, museum or restaurant will be on you . . . whew!  It makes me sweat just thinking about it.

I would like to think it is all in my head - the judgement, the looks, the whispering and pointing.  But it isn’t, it is very real and I feel that I must present a good image for my family’s sake, other large families’ sakes and for the sake of Him who blessed us with all these boys. 

So enjoy your obscurity if you happen to have some and don’t take it for granted.  And if you ever see a harried mama with 6 boys in tow at the mall (Heaven help her), send a smile her way and continue on yours.  She’ll love the smile and adore you for leaving her to a teensy bit of mental obscurity in such a public place.

Today I’m going to shock a few of you by encouraging you to Fling housework aside from time to time this Spring and run away from your family for an evening.  When you are done gasping bear with me here and read on! 

There are times when I want to be able to stop everything and just enjoy my boys.  Sounds like it would be simple right?  So what’s my problem?  Why can’t I seem to overcome the mountains of laundry and dishes the trails of clothes throughout my tiny home and the close quarters that seem to be getting ever closer and simply spend a few minutes ENJOYING my precious sons?

I have decided that regardless of the amount of work there is to be done it is imperative, mandatory even that we schedule in time to spend enjoying our children.  It may be a little challenging with the vast age differences of my children and I don’t always feel like I’m spending time “with” them when they are playing outside since they’re off doing their own thing.  For me this means putting events and ideas on the calendar that the children and I can look forward to. 

More ideas will be coming your way soon, I have a few up my sleeve that I’m interested in giving a try and want your feedback on as well, but I’ll save that for another day.  In the meantime, I’ll schedule trips to the Y with my kids.  We have a GREAT new facility about 15 minutes from us and we just joined as the fees are reasonable, especially for a family our size!  Then there’s always nature adventures and more to explore even right here at home.  All that to say it doesn’t have to cost a lot to have a quality, memorable time with your kids, we just have to make sure it happens! 

On to the “running away” part (I know *gasp* again) . . . Spring Fever has arrived and it really affects adults too - especially moms of young children!  For me it isn’t limited to spring because so many of us are in this tiny home, but I know many many moms begin to feel a little clausterphobic and even overwhelmed especially in the Spring. 

As you begin gearing up for better weather, spring cleaning, spring and summer kids’ activities and more to schedule this is also the perfect time of year for you to plan an evening out with other moms.  An evening free of children, free of housework, free of cooking and cleaning or anything to do with all of that.  I’m assuming, of course, that you are still scheduling your monthly dates with your hubby and I’m NOT suggesting that this take the place of those as they are extremely important!

Most of us eat, sleep and breathe an unbelievable amount of daily duties as a mom and I’m here to tell you that it is ok to take a night “off”.  It isn’t because you need to pretend you aren’t a mom and it isn’t because you are tired of mothering.  Nor is it because you are not content in your life as a homemaker, errand runner, cook, maid, chauffer or parent!  Nope, it is simply a refresher.  Sometimes it is nice to spend a little quality time with a few friends who are dear to you, if you are anything like me it is extremely difficult to find time to do this, but when you do it is great conversation, with no stress and just plain relaxing.

Again, I suggest these be kept simple and fairly financially savvy.  Meeting at a coffee shop costs very little even if you all decide to go “window” shopping afterward.  Dinner is nice to, as long as everyone is conscientious about others’ financial needs!  Keep it simple. 

Here’s another fun one . . . something my friends and I have enjoyed a few times.  Put together a pampering party.  It’s a simple event where everyone can bring their own foot “spa” (can be a bowl or large container) and towel and you can all sit around, soaking your feet, doing your nails, eating snacks and enjoying some great music!  This only really works if someone has a home that is easily separated from the rest of their family area. 

I know this is a little unusual for a Mommy Reality or Life With Boys Monday, but I really wanted to give you something to think about as we get into the flurry of Spring.