Although I haven’t done any funny kid conversations or sayings lately, trust me it isn’t because they don’t happen on a daily basis. There are far too many times when we need to keep a straight face and deal with something calmly and seriously with them and simply have to leave the room to get composure because they make things far too amusing.

With Little Bug M, every day he has something to monologue about, this is absolutely NO exaggeration. The way that his monologues are delivered would set the best actor in the world to shame, it is quite entertaining.

Now, that’s not to say that Monkey E doesn’t have his fair share of moments that quite literally have us laughing until we cry. He says really big words at the most interesting times… but uses them completely how they should be used… it’s definitely made us stop and stare on several occasions.

The noses…

So… let’s first get this out of the way, since it’s obvious in the photo that both of them have the exact same scab in the exact same spot on their noses. You aren’t the first to notice, it’s been a source of great confusion and amusement at school, as the staff thought that only one had it and delivered him to the class they thought was his, only to discover they both had this nose thing.

But I digress…

You see, it is a trampoline burn {trampoline version of a rug burn}. I wasn’t watching the very moment it happened, there were several bigger boys out there and the three youngest were sitting nicely on the trampoline, so I decided to run inside and start making dinner.

The story, as all three of them tell it is that J-Man decided to tell both of the Twinkies that they needed to lick the trampoline. What on earth possessed either him to tell them to do it, or them to actually listen, truly is beyond all comprehension to me. But they did!

Somehow both fell forward at exactly the same time, in exactly the same way {I have to wonder if they weren’t nudged… just saying!} resulting in exactly the same nose thing. It’s one of the wonders of the universe, but there you have it.

Just your general run of the mill interactive morning breakfast table type conversation…

This is a conversation I wrote down recently. Apparently I came in toward the end of a breakfast time monologue given by Little Bug who isn’t always sure how he feels about being home every other Friday.

Bug: We can only watch baby shows on Fridays… but not Chicken Little because there’s an invasion and they don’t like invasions.

Me: Babies don’t like invasions… good to know.

Tater: Especially not when told by Chickens!

Stay tuned for more Crazy Kid Convos in the very near future!

One of the first things I heard today as I was still in that not-totally-conscious-of-the-world-around-me state was an interesting conversation floating across the house from the room several of our boys share.

This Is the Puller3000!!!!!! You just pull it here and the door comes toward you. (Monkey says in a big booming announcer voice)

I am assuming this is a clever promo for Angry Birds Space!

Immediately I couldn’t help but wonder what on earth ever happened to the Puller1000 and Puller2000?????!!! This question may haunt me! I have not had a chance to ask him yet today.

When I mentioned that curiosity to my husband his reply was “Apparently he felt he needed to skip those and go straight to the 3000 model!”

LOL, they are all crazy!

Then, this afternoon, I received the photo above in a text from my husband. He’s working on a project in Seattle and snapped the photo from his iPhone (sorry it’s not very clear) from one of the windows of the building.

Look close and you will definitely see there’s something oddly “Angry Birds” about the Space Needle in Seattle, WA right now (haha). I can only assume this is a brilliant marketing stunt to promote Angry Birds Space which has just been released! I love it!!

As you can imagine, life with my Twinky Dinks (aka. twins) in school has been interesting to say the least. Through the years I have given you all tiny little hints into the reality of life with them, but the full truth… well, I may have underestimated your ability to handle it. I apologize!

In an effort to bring life with my particular brand of twin sons to full light I hereby promise to tell you the whole truth… you have been warned.

As the expectancy of Christmas is fully upon us and this is the last week of school till the new year, life in our household has been buzzing…

“Is it time to put the tree up yet?”
“Where is Santa?”
“Is it time to put the tree up yet?”
“What Christmas movie is on tonight mom?”
“Isn’t it time to put up the tree?”

Yes, the ability of children to suddenly focus on one thing when Christmastime is upon us is astounding!

For whatever reason however Bugs decided to have a few “moments” in school last week. We still are not quite sure what provoked his two day rampage into the abyss of naughtiness, but we are breathing a huge sigh of relief that this trip was so seemingly brief (ok so I’m holding my breath a little still until the week is over).

As I picked them up on Wednesday of last week (the reason I pick them up has yet to be shared with you… I’ll save that for another time), Bugs’ teacher took me aside briefly and shared with me that Bugs had  not had the best day (such a lovely way to say that they were naughty). In that moment fear of unknown proportions washed over me. All I could think is “Oh Please NO! ”

I know what they are capable of, I have seen the destruction and mayhem, I know the reality of twin abilities. This is why they are in separate classes in school. But I digress…

“Well, first” the teacher begins (again, I’m panicking as I realize if there’s a first that’s not where it stops… aaahh!), “I found him under his table breaking about 25 crayons into pieces”. Oh lovely! My son, the crayon torturer! Although I was mortified, it wasn’t as bad as it could be.

“Then, he decided to hide in the coat rack after reading group instead of coming back to the class.” O joy, a fugitive. This isn’t the first time but neither of them had decided to go roaming about the school for a few months so I had hoped we’d passed this phase.

Although neither of those issues is a huge infraction, they were the beginning of a 2 day spree where during the bus ride to school the next day he apparently decided his brother needed to be wailed upon. Hitting and other such nonsense ended with a trip for Mister Bugs to the principal’s office.

He’s 6. In the principal’s office. For beating on another child (yes it was his twin but STILL). SIGH

The worst part is, when I talked to him about it later and expressed my concern at the severity of his crimes over that two day spree, he then turned to his twin brother after I had walked into the other room and told him “well it’s your fault I hit you, you wouldn’t stop singing”.

SIGH again!

Now, just to clarify, I do not allow my children to go around wailing on each other, and blaming another person for one’s overreaction in life is absolutely unacceptable in our home. You own up to your mistakes, we deal with it, we all move on (hopefully).

Also, I honestly do not believe that any of my children have ever ended up in the principal’s office before. So, as with so many things in life with my twins, we have yet another glorious radiant first … that I desperately pray we will not be a recurring event!

Here’s a few moments from life this week with our lovely little 5 year old twins Bugs and Monkey…

When a 5 year old thinks they are an adult, it’s scary! When two think they are it’s even scarier!

But, when the two 5 year olds then proceed to explain to their parents that there are 2 of them and there’s not 2 of anyone else in the family (thus making them inconquerable), I get a strong sense that it’s time to run away screaming in fear!

Apparently, we have a “furnicious” (vicious?) cat for sale. Although it does happen to be strictly Bug that’s doing the selling and he’s attempting to sell said “furnicious” cat to another brother (I didn’t catch the price, sorry lol). Just to be clear though he does love the cat and has no true intentions of getting rid of it.

Today is picture day at school and our little Monkey spent much of the morning demonstrating his best photo poses. To which my reply was “Honey, you really need to listen to what the people taking your picture tell you though.” I feel a prayer might be in order for the poor photographers today.

I talked a bit last week about being in a holding pattern and making a more conscious effort to find the good in each and every day.  Today the Twinkies are 4 years old and although there are many descriptive words I could use when talking about them and what they have brought into our lives, there are two that stand out most… amazing and funny.

We are forever amazed by the things that these two little boys are capable of.  This amazement isn’t anything new though, they have been shocking us with their minds and abilities since before they turned one, it is simply incredible. But as they get older, their thoughts are so much more amazing even.

Each and every day they say or do things that are worthy of a true ROFL (roll on the floor laughing).  From the incredible dreams that they have to the random thoughts that they share, they keep us on our toes.  Even though I’m describing them basically as a pair, they are very much individuals and proud of who they each are.

Yes, life is extremely chaotic sometimes and they tend to have more than their fair share of complaints in life a lot of the time. They are stubborn, strong willed, opinionated and even mouthy.  But through all of that they have also brought so much joy and laughter and they love hard.

They get offended if they don’t get a hug and blow kiss from Daddy before he leaves for work each morning.  They get upset if their big brothers are gone for too long and especially if CJ is spending too many nights with grandparents.

Through everything, we are thankful for these little bundles of energy that keep us on our toes and bring us amazed laughter every day.

The twins are quickly approaching age 4 and their latest love, especially Bug is to cut their hair. Bug did this twice within about a month and I did what I could with his hair buzz cutting it and trying to still keep it looking cute.

Then about 2 weeks ago Monkey decided to do it as well but instead of cutting a reverse mohawk as Bug has Monkey cut it straight across the front close to his head. Equally terrible looking lol, but Icould work with that a little more… until yesterday.

As most of you know, I have been cutting all my guys’ hair since shortly after my husband and I got married.  This has saved us a ton of money and headaches over the years and it’s a quick job to do at home.

I had cut my husband’s and 3 of the other boys’ hair the day before and apparently I had left the clippers box on the counter. Yes you guessed it, in their infinite wisdom, the twins found that box (though the height of the counter is at forehead level) opened it up and proceeded to clip hair.

Now, the crazy part is that, as usual, they were only in there for a few moments before Salesman and I heard and registered the noise in the kitchen. As we investigated {went TEARING into the room!}, sure enough we found that Monkey had taken the clippers to the front middle of his head and had a crazy looking front only reverse mohawk look going. Bugs had only a tiny section cut out of the front as well, but it was enough to require a full shaving.

As CJ begged to shave them, it is the first time that I’ve ever been able to say yes lol. After all what more could he do to them, they already looked terrible. So excitedly CJ prepared the clippers and a twin and began shaving. The twins weren’t thrilled with the process, but they hated afterward when they saw themselves completely sheared down to the scalp.

They kept asking for us to put the hair back on (which we all fell on the floor laughing over of course) and informed me that CJ is never to cut their hair again. To which I replied that as long as they did not cut their hair again I would make sure CJ didn’t have the opportunity to cut their hair again.

This turned into an excellent way to try and keep them from cutting their hair again. Knowing that they would look as they do now and endure another haircut by big brother may very well be my ticket out of the crazy haircut stage.

We will see……

I have recently realized (though I have no idea why it took me so long) that my Twinkies talk non stop.  They are just little chatterboxes.

I could almost write a Dr. Seuss type book with their antics…something along the lines of “here, there and everywhere” would be involved because it doesn’t matter where we are going (or not going as the case may be) or what we are doing (again..or not doing) they will always have something to say about it.

I’m not sure exactly when they decided they know more than any of the rest of their family members…all of whom are older than them, but they are positive that they do.  Preschoolers that are unequivocally smarter than the rest of the world are a force to be reckoned with…or feared…or both.

This is the position I find myself in daily.  What crazy scheme will they try today?  Will they have a story to tell or someone to tell off?  Can I possibly keep up?

I have never questioned God’s sense of humor in blessing us with these two adorable little creatures, but that doesn’t mean that I always get it.  None of my other children were capable of getting ahead of me more quickly than these two.

And when there are two of them ahead of you, you are in trouble.

But I digress…

I talk a lot about their funny little sayings and their conversations.  Honestly though that is just a small portion of the interesting life with my twins.  There’s always the climbing of walls, seeing how quickly we can take something apart (or away from a brother) and the ever present search for anything artsy we aren’t supposed to touch without mom being right there to supervise.

These items include, but are not limited to: scissors, tape, crayons, markers, pencils, erasers, etc.

We recently had what I currently refer to as “the incident” with scissors.  Yes, the timeless tradition of cutting one’s hair was exacted by our loveable Bugs a little over a week ago.  Unlike most other children who participate in this ritual of preschoolerdom, my son decided to cut a perfect line, at scalp level, straight up the middle of his head instead of across the front.

He ended up with some sort of odd looking reverse mohawk…nothing short of hideous.  It took me far too long though to work up the nerve to whack it all off.  But I did and he is now a tough little soldier…still with a little baldish streak up the middle of his head lol.

Now the only thing left to do is take a picture and scrapbook it for posterity.  Because there is no way I’m letting him forget it when his son decides to do the same thing!  This is one of the beautiful things in parenting…I think I need to remember it more often!

My Twinks…they are silly, crazy, funny, ornery, cute, amazing, creative, imaginative and intelligent.  Watching them grow is both challenging and exciting.  They started talking much earlier than the other boys and the never stop talking now lol.  The things they come up with are often unexpected and always interesting, though much of it gets them into trouble.

Here’s a conversation with Monkey…

Monkey: “Mom, if somebody sends me to the moon I’ll be very very very mad”

Me: “honey, no one is going to send you to the moon”

Monkey: “Well, if they do I’ll be mad” (in his best warning voice)

Me: “duly noted dear”

Monkey: “Good”

At this point we will then transition into yet another conversation on a totally different topic.  But there’s a glimpse into the mind of a three year old.

My mother has decided that the twins are in need of some serious intellectual stimulation.  I agree, but putting 3 year old twins into preschool isn’t an option…there is no discount until the year before they go to kindergarten.  Add to that the extra expense of homeschooling our oldest son this year and…well…yeah, it’s just not reasonable.

As I have mentioned in the past, I plan to home-preschool them, and I have some great resources.  I have to admit right here and now though that the reality is…I’m panicking.

It is general knowledge that our twins can outwit, out-think and outlast everyone they come in contact with (LOL, I live in an episode of Survivor daily).  Keeping up with them is a full time job, and my older sons are constantly having to help me chase them down and keep them occupied.

I’ve been watching an infomercial (ah the insanity) that claims to teach little ones to read, but although they only share the trial price on the commercial ($14.95 + Shipping&Handling), I checked it out and the full price is just under $200.  I refuse to participate in trial offers, especially with the insanity of my schedule.  Either way though it made me wonder (I think I took a very long route to ask one simple question)…

Do people really spend that much money on a product they haven’t tried for themselves or heard about from a person they trust?  I’m just curious about that.

This weekend we celebrated the 4th of July – Independence Day and I definitely have had that word on my mind.