Being a mother is a constant struggle between perfection and failure, where neither one is really achieved no matter how much you try or think you have failed. Reality can be beautiful and harsh all at the same time. It never hurts to take a little Reality Check moment as a mom to maybe help put things into perspective.
If you are anything like me the reality of motherhood is much different than you imagined and dreamed it would be! I was the perfect mom . . . . before I had kids. I knew exactly how I would handle each situation as it came my way, I had clean and perfect children . . . at least in my mind I did. My house would always be clean and my laundry non-existent, family time and meals would be perfectly prepared and never hurried.
Now, I realize that there is always a chance that someone reading this actually lives the life that dwelt in my mind as a pre-mommy, but I’ll take the leap and share my reality anyway.
Mommy Reality #1 – there is no such thing as perfection! That’s right, there is no one perfect way to do things. God made each of us unique and individual and he does not expect us to raise our children any other way.
He has given us some valuable guidelines with our children and I am thankful for that! I don’t know what I would do without my faith as a mom! I would feel stranded, abandoned, alone, insignificant and incapable! Not that I don’t have hints of these feelings now, but He helps keep them in check and definitely in perspective. But notice that He doesn’t give us a blanket step by step process for raising these kiddos of ours.
I know that many of us seriously wish there was some sort of instruction manual that came with each baby, but I believe that God knows what He is doing when He lets us seek Him for the daily instruction on how to raise each of our children individually. There are many bumps in the road and many moments on my knees in tears as I feel that I have failed miserably. I cannot tell you how often I catch myself asking Him “How can You continue to love me when I am so unlovable and fail so miserably at being a shining light for You?” We cannot understand His ways entirely, we can only strive to be like Him.
So, mommy reality number one is to set aside all preconceived ideas of the perfect mother and begin seeking Him for wisdom to become the mother He intends you to be. This reality is actually a common theme throughout many of my reality checks, so I will be revisiting it often. What are the things that you have found to be very different from your pre-mommyhood ideals?
One thing I can say for sure though . . . . as much as I have found these seemingly “negative” differences in motherhood, I have found that there was no way to anticipate the daily joys and happiness in the little things I watch my children do, accomplish, say or express.
Scriptures for the journey:
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” – Philippians 4:13
“The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles” – Psalm 34:17
“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you” – John 15:7
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it” – Proverbs 22:6
“Whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive” – Matthew 21:22
“You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you.” – John 15:16