For some reason the boys’ first bath and sharing a bed for the first time has been on my mind lately, so I thought I’d share!
Our experience in the NICU was filled with mixed emotions . . . about the experience as well as about the staff. Some of the nurses were excellent and we loved them immediately, but some . . . not so much. Every day I’d come in the same time toting my bag of pumped milk, wash hands, put stuff away, check on the guys, see who was on duty. This was rather intimidating at first! After all you don’t plan to spend time in the NICU – you avoid the thought like the plague. Then here you are having to deal with it and . . . now what?
I credit their first nurse Winny with giving me the tools I needed to survive the experience with even a little of my sanity in tact. We were blessed in so many ways! The twins’ lives were not in danger, they simply needed to wake up and learn to eat on their own and for M how to do that without his heart rate plunging! Winny made everything ok! She made sure I was still the mom! She loved them and me unconditionally and was always cracking a joke in the cutest japanese accent you’ve ever heard! She was a TINY woman who made a huge impact on my hubby and myself! We even found out that she is also a Christian and our relationship with her went even deeper after that! Such a blessing!
She showed me the things I could do to actively be involved in their daily routine – taking their temperature, changing their diaper, changing their clothes if necessary, switching the oxygen pad that was attached to their foot to the other foot each time. The little things that said “I am mom and I’m caring for my baby”. These things meant the world to me!
It never occurred to me that the next day or each day thereafter I may face a nurse who didn’t want me to just be the mom and may be surprised at my ability to just jump in and do what I knew how to do. Sure most of them were quite sweet, but some of them had a little bit of a power issue and always seemed to want to make sure I knew they were really the one in charge. I had to laugh a little at this arrogance though since they usually ended up looking rather silly for their efforts when they found out that I was already the mom of 4 other boys and that Winny had shown me everything I needed to know – even how to read their chart! There were even moments where one comment could make me feel so foolish and stupid and looking back on it – that was so wrong! But Winny had signed up to be their primary nurse, so we knew that any day she had a shift she’d be in charge of our little guys.
But I digress! They had been in the NICU for 9 days and when I showed up that morning I proceeded with my usual routine and saw that the nurse was familiar to me. She had never worked with my boys, but I had seen her often in the next Pod over and knew she was nice. I had no idea just what a wonderful woman she was. Her name is Maureen and she was another God send!
Maureen was the perfect combination of motherly type mixed with nursing knowledge and she kept saying things like “Ok mom what do you want to do with your boys today?” – do you know how much that meant to my heart? To my soul? It was unbelievable! I believe I almost cried when I heard those words come out of her mouth first thing that morning.
Then she mentioned that she would like to try to move them into the same crib today. I was shocked! Their nurse the day before was not encouraging (she had been one of the power nurses) and had told me that as long as M was having Bradycardias the doctor would not allow them to be together.
So that morning Maureen made a point to ask the doctor if she could co-bed the twins and they said sure! I was walking on air – a little skeptical that it might not happen, but oh . . . if only it could. To have both my babies together, to look at them at the same time without having to cross the room, to hold them both and care for them both and to just have them together – heaven!
That evening, true to her word, my babies were even able to finally be in the same crib! She stayed late to ensure this event and I too stayed late to get them settled and to watch them . . . together! The process of getting them into the same crib wasn’t quite as simple as you might think. A portable computer had to be brought in to continue to monitor E’s stats – since he was not having any issues at all he was going to be moved to M’s side of the room. M was still having “bradys” and needed to be on a more stable monitor.
But it happened and there they were – it was an unbelievably amazing sight for me! My boys together for the first time. They had a photo of all of their older brothers in their crib too – which the nurses and other staff loved – they were all so funny about it! At the end of the day Maureen told me that she’d be back the next day and we’d see what other fun things we could come up with then. For the first time I was looking forward to the next day at the NICU – not dreading it!
The next morning after I’d arrived and once again completed my usual tasks Maureen greeted me and asked if I’d like to give them their first bath – I told her I’d love to with a mixture of excitement and nervousness, afraid that I might not actually get to do it.
True to her word a funny little setup was brought in mid-morning to give the babies their baths. They put warm blankets on the bottom of a tub and fill that a couple of inches with warm water and there’s a heating lamp over the top of that. One at a time she helped me get them unhooked from their wires and ready to go. Down to just a receiving blanket, into the tub one went!
They were so relaxed! All they had on at that point was their ever-present feeding tube, but they didn’t care. It was so fun to spend that time talking and singing to my babies like a normal mom of a newborn giving their baby a bath! It was almost possible to see myself actually getting to take them home to really be mine.
So I gave one tiny boy a bath, dried him off, got him dressed, put on their little hat and moved on to do it all over again with the next one – but I loved it! It honestly was things like this, the kindness and gentleness of a motherly nurse that kept me sane when in the midst of the emotional turmoil called the NICU.
Happiness! Contentment! Peace! In the midst of the NICU I am still amazed that these were the things that were experienced for most of those 2 days.
I am ever thankful to God for the nurses that were sent our way (especially Winny and Maureen). They were such a blessing and help – giving me that peace in the middle of such an emotional experience!