Ok, so I’ll admit I’m not always sure what people mean by this, but I believe that God does have one person in mind for each of us and being a praying parent I am hoping to spare my sons from some of the misguided decisions that their peers will make. I know it’s not foolproof, but I also know that it does a lot to help! But for me it begins long before they are serious about finding that “soulmate”.
Our sons know that we take “dating” very seriously and believe that it is something that should be reserved for a time when they are interested in finding a wife. Sound strange? Maybe it does today, but both my husband and myself have seen the results (first hand and with friends) of casual dating. Not everyone will agree with me, in fact it is very likely that few will, but pairing off during their teenage (or young adult) years with several different girls who they know they will never look at as candidates for a good wife is honestly not something we want for our sons.
It is distracting: takes them away from studies, sports, and things that they should be accomplishing for a better future. It is misleading: if they aren’t serious about it but the girl is (or vice versa) why are they choosing this one girl, is it going to go anywhere? It is compromising: casual dating compromises so many areas in a teens (or adult’s) life spiritually, emotionally and physically. Now that I have that off my chest 🙂 . . .
One thing my mom did often from the time I was a young girl was to have my sisters and I recite to her the qualities we should look for in a husband! As we got older we would roll our eyes and repeat the list, but it stuck!
As a young adult I experienced heartbreak and afterward had a serious chat with God about my future! This chat included a list similar to the one my mom had always gone over with us with a couple of things added that I had learned for myself. About the same time I met the man that would become my husband, coincidence? I don’t think so. He met every single criteria on that list . . . EVERY SINGLE ONE! It was not long after I met him that I decided that he was the man I was supposed to marry, the only problem was that he needed to know that too (heehee).
This was a part of the process that only God could handle and He did it in such an amazing way! It is a long story for another day, but suffice it to say never NEVER sell yourself or God short! That list of criteria is NOT too much for Him to handle! In fact the great thing is that He is probably the one that put the list in my head in the first place! So I have begun to drill my sons on the qualities to look for in a wife . . . and just a hint, it has absolutely nothing to do with her physical appearance! But this is not enough! I am thankful that this is an area that God put on my heart to pray over my sons long before I read this book, but I love the reminder!
I think I can sum it up in two verses 😉
Don’t want for Sons:
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4
Want for Sons:
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22