I was one of those little girls who always dreamt of being a mom – that’s really all I wanted to do. It was really easy and natural to be a mom in my mind and though I knew that babies cried and children disobeyed, the fact of the matter is becoming a mom is very different than anything you could ever imagine!
There is no way to truly understand the challenges, emotions and rewards of being a mother until you have your first child and I would have to say that was the biggest surprise for me about motherhood. When you are dreaming about or imagining your life as a mom, what your children will be like, etc, there is no way to foresee how different circumstances can affect everyday life.
The variables each day holds can make all good intentions go out the window sometimes. There are days that I am moody – I never would have imagined myself as anything other than gentle, soft spoken and kind every second of every day with my perfectly well behaved though occasionally mischievous little ones. I actually have to chuckle a little as I write this since after all I never imagined in a million years that all of my children would be boys – though I have to admit that I did imagine myself with 6 children. This is not reality with a strong-willed 3 year old and 1 year old twins who have decided that divide and conquer is a great motto – need I say more?
That said though, the rewards of raising these little ones are nothing I could ever have imagined either! I didn’t realize how much the hugs, kisses, affection and even conversations would mean to me as a mom! How it would melt my heart to watch my children interact with one another in a sincere and loving way (then again there are times they are bashing each other over the head – just keeping it real haha). It is truly the simple things in life that make all the difference – not only for me when watching my children, but also in my interaction with them – little hugs, saying “I Love You” to them, taking them out by themselves for the afternoon, asking them how they are doing. They know you care through the details in life – actions truly do speak louder than words!
I love my kids – I find them super challenging sometimes, but I love them. I love their individuality, watching them mature and grow to be responsible young men. I know that there are often bumps in the road of life, but I hate the huge bump involving our house situation right now – affecting our ability to function well as a family and most of all it is affecting our children so negatively – they are such wonderful and creative little boys and they are stifled every step of the way right now because we don’t have room for them to play and it isn’t safe for them to romp in the living room – it breaks my heart! I can only pray that a day will come when they will be free and have space to move!